May Day

Posted on May 1, 2003 in Crosstalk Festivals Folly Watch

Today is May Day, the day after the Wiccan High Holiday of Beltane and International Labor Day everywhere except the United States which pushed our Labor Day to early September to prevent the Communists from getting control of it.

On this day, partisans of the working class march in the streets singing “Arise ye prisoners of starvation” — except, of course, in America, where the workers are too busy worrying about losing their salaries, health, retirement, and dental benefits to concern themselves with the whole issue of not having enough food to eat. Alice reports that Danes see it as a great opportunity to get drunk and stay that way until the rude awakening of May 2. Americans don’t get drunk on May Day. They hold off until Memorial Day when the object appears to be to fill the graves with new corpses so that their relatives will have a reason to visit them next Memorial Day.

Bill Clinton proclaimed this as “Loyalty Day” a few years back when he was in political trouble and George W. Bush has followed suit now that the public’s attention to his war is waning and people are beginning to wake up to the fact that we’re killing Iraqis for saying that with or without Hussein, they don’t want us there. I’m looking forward to the more real American holiday of Liberty Day when I intend to speak out against the oppressive, treasonous policies of George III.

Jeremy isn’t sure which is scarier: the fact that this is Loyalty Day (speak no ill of the President even if he does deconstruct the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to enrich himself and his friends) or that this is the National Day of Prayer (Hail Great Diana of Ephesus! resounds through the halls, except they’ve renamed her “Jesus” for purposes of American jingoism.)

Andrew states, succinctly: “Loyalty Day Can Bite My Ass.” He asks: “Does anyone else remember the May Days of Russia and other communist countries? They amount to the same thing. Shall we expect parades showcasing our mightiest MOAB bombs and Patriot missiles?”

I don’t think it’s long in coming, to tell the truth, Andrew.