The Method

Posted on July 7, 2003 in Blogging Courage & Activism Crosstalk Liberty

Andrew of Byte Back is under a favored attack of conservatives. Not too long ago, he lost it and said “Fuck you” to a conservablogger on the conservablogger’s site. The blogger was every bit in his rights to denounce Andrew for this and Andrew did apologize. On that point I am with the conservablogger: we shouldn’t be saying that to other people on their blogs.

But in a new comment, an ally of the conservablogger came back at Andrew because Andrew posted his feelings about the matter and the blogger’s attitudes on his own site. The conservapundit complained that Andrew was showing a lack of class. I differ on this: apologizing for rude behavior does not entail giving up the issue which, for Andrew, was the whole patriot angle.

Those who dislike Andrew will undoubtably keep poking at him. I wrote in response to the conservacommenter:

Jay, Andrew apologized. Classiness on the part of Howard entails accepting the apology, not holding what Andrew did against him for all time.

An apology does not mean that Andrew concedes every point to Howard or gives up the right to criticize Howard”s views. It only means that Andrew recognizes that he erred on using the profanity. He does not surrender on the issue itself, only the way he handled it.

To demand anything more shows a complete and utter lack of class on your part.

It does not strike me as very classy to gloat about the war in Iraq and Andrew certainly has a right to react to that. It”s the price you pay for freedom, jay: you can say what you like, but people can turn around and say that they don”t like what you are saying. And all you can do is shout back.

It’s the unforgiving and unrelenting persecution by people like you that have people like Andrew saying “Fuck you”. Maybe it is not polite, but it”s also rude to keep attacking someone on a point that he”s admitted to being wrong on.

Like the way conservatives keep attacking Robert Byrd for the fact that he is a former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan.

Andrew screwed up once. You keep repeating the same rude behavior and never apologizing for it. YOU, Jay, are the lesser man.

As far as I know, Howard has never admitted to being wrong on the whole Iraq question and until he does, Andrew is free to keep bringing the point back up.

Iraq has done more to bring discredit on this nation of ours than any other single action of the last two hundred years. It did nothing to preserve and protect our freedom. On the contrary, we are less free now than we have been at any time in our history.

And our economy is worse off. And all you can shout is “traitor” and “tain”t so”. Now that”s pathetic.

The conserva-apologist is now attempting to dictate Andrew’s behavior on Andrew’s own blog. These are the people who cheered when Texas lawmen broke into the house of that gay couple and arrested them for sodomy. They want to be in your business. That’s one fault.

Fault two is the issue I raised about accepting the apology. It’s a fashionable trick for conservatives to keep attacking people for things they did and later apologized for. (It disheartens me to see some progressives/liberals doing the same thing — George W. Bush’s alcohol problems are apparently a thing of the past, for example, and have no place in criticisms of him. Other behavior — such as his AWOL, his attempts to destroy arrest records, his stealing of the 2000 election, his sleeping on the watch that led to 9-11, etc. — that he has not apologized for are fair game.) Robert Byrd is a frequent subject of such attacks because he was the Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan. Byrd has not only apologized, but he’s gone to great lengths to make amends. But some keep bringing it up in an attempt to alienate liberals and progressives from their own best spokespeople.

There’s a darker and more serious matter to be challenged here: these people who keep attacking like this don’t dare apologize. They’ve screwed up the economy royally. They’ve caused untold suffering in Iraq and elsewhere. They never admit that they are making things worse and worse. And for this reason, things continue to get worse because they won’t review their policies. Instead they make excuses and, when blocked, try to find new ways to exert their control over our lives.

We can fight them. First, they are human and we are human. Second, we are humans who have realized our humanity and realize that apologizing and making amends is not a sign of weakness. Third, that’s our weapon: integrity, decency, and compassion. Fourth, use it. Apologize when you are in the wrong. Let them off the hook when they have the guts to apologize. When they can’t, contrast how they behave with how you behave. As I challenged a conservative poster who didn’t like my remarks about Patriotism for July 5: be willing to go Beatitude by Beatitude against them, be honest about your own failings, and do not keep silent about their greater failings.

They won’t like this because they depend on dishonesty. The more they scream, the more they will call attention to themselves and show others how narrow and rude they are. Be forgiving when sincere apologies are given: point it out when their guts fail them again and again.

They might call this plan “evil”: tell them to tell that to Christ, the Buddha, and the rest of the great men and women of spirit.