What if they gave an election and nobody came?

Posted on August 30, 2003 in Courage & Activism Gray Davis Recall

I wonder where they found all the signatures because in my circle of friends — which includes both conservatives and liberals — support for the recall is absent. Conservatives are afraid that now the recall beast has been loosed that it will become a regular money-wasting feature of California politics. Liberals are calling it an attempt to hijack the governor’s mansion by extremist right wing groups. I know one person who thinks we should “give Arnold a chance”. (Why not give Gray Davis a chance?) Where is this groundswell of support for the elimination of boring old Gray Davis from the political life of the state?

Many have protested against the recall in various ways: by registering as candidates, filling up the ballot with 135 names including those of Gary Coleman, Mary Carey, and Angelyne. Wisecracks and parody sites abound. But the most radical and perhaps the most effective answer to this bogus “election” is that suggested by Orange County Weekly columnist Jim Washburn:

The polls only open in this state because thousands of people contribute their efforts as election officials (yes, they’re paid, but it’s such a pittance that no one does it for the check). I’ve worked several elections, figuring it’s a civic duty, that if you want to live in a free society, and particularly if you want to bitch about it, you have an obligation to participate in it.

But when the election is a cynical cash-driven hijacking of the process, and when experts say we lack the time, organization and machinery to assure the election will be fair and accurate, it becomes one’s civic duty to sit this one out. That’s what I’m doing, and I urge other election officials to do the same. Without our bodies, the polls couldn’t open, the votes couldn’t be counted, the doughnuts couldn’t be eaten, and there simply could not be an election, at least not until the scheduled one next spring. By then the state could properly prepare to hold an accurate election, and they would also save tens of millions of dollars over what the October special election would cost. What a great state we live in. Where else can you save the taxpayers tens of millions just by sitting on your bwuttocks?

The idea is tempting. What if they gave an election and nobody came? Voters would arrive at polling place doors and find themselves unable to exercise their franchise. They’d have to take it to court, get an extension. To March.

It’s scary and I can see county officials hastily organizing firemen and police officers to man the polls — if they have enough to cover. Courts would close. Judges would leave the bench. Orange County alone might lose millions of dollars in revenue from traffic tickets because motorist’s cases would have to be dismissed due to the inability of the courts to grant them a speedy trial as provided under the state constitution. All this because of the stupid taxpayers who are already costing us more than $60 million to hold this comedy of terrors.

Of all the candidates involved, only Gray Davis has offered to offset the costs by not charging the state for the costs of his election which, under the law, is his right to claim if he fights off the election challenge. Maybe talking about the costs and underlining the selfishness of candidates who won’t pay is the ticket to paradise here. Maybe dramatizing the absurdity by refusing to take part as an electoral official (do go to vote!) will put some sense into the heads of the California electorate.

Timidly, I endorse the walk out.