Pax Nortona – A Blog by Joel Sax
From the Land of the Lost Blunderbuss
Scenes
Posted on September 19, 2003 in Anger Book of Days Encounters
Note: This is part of a series based on exercises from A Writer’s Book of Days. It’s something of a rebellion against the Friday Five and similar tupperware content memes.
Today’s topic: Write about a time someone lost control.
I laughed hardest at the scene in Frida where the dog pees on one of Diego’s paintings and he chases after it with a knife*. I knew how it would end: Diego grabbed the dog, held it in his arms, called it a little devil, and then praised it as the “best art critic” out there.
I am a person of scenes when I lose it. The last time I lost control was when a member of our group wrote a short story in which he rather cruelly parodied me, a couple of writers who were my friends, and Nannette. I don’t think it profits a group to have someone who writes for the purpose of provoking anger in others. I kept my cool. Nannette explained the problem to him privately — after many attempts to talk to him prior to the group. He drilled a finger through the air at her. “I had a business to run!” he growled.
Meanwhile, at the table, I was telling people that I felt that in a group there were certain things I did because I expected them in return. One was to listen respectfully and the second was to not maneuver me or anyone else into a frightening scenes. Nannette came back to the table and explained that we would not be reviewing the story. This clown didn’t know when to stop. He came in and started in on Nannette, claiming that she’d driven him from the group.
If he’d come after me (I think I was the real target of his anger), I would have just grinned. But going after any friend is a situation where I lose it. I stood up and yelled at him. I’m not sure what I said. Nannette asked me to leave the group — I had promised to do this if I lost my temper — and I did. As I left, however, I said one word to the disgruntled writer: “Libel”. I held up my copy of the story and stalked off.
I could have handled that better, but I will give myself credit for the aftermath. I went to the back of the store, found a cool book about sunken ships, and flipped through the pages. A store manager brought me a bottle of water while they resolved things up front. When it was through, I came back and delivered my reviews as normal. It was a good idea to walk and distract myself. A very good idea. It made up for the explosion and we all got on fine after that.
That and the apology I gave to the group.
I’m not fully adept at the moment of ridicule. Last night, a conservative attempted to dismiss my arguments against Hanson’s Mexifornia by saying that I was just prejudiced. He interrupted me while I was stating my final position. I told him that he’d been doing that all evening and that I had let him talk without interruption mostly. He denied any put downs and I just said “Bullshit”.
Next time, I should say “Well, we’ve heard what you think of my views many times, Alfred. I’d like a last word if that’s all right with you. You’ve had yours.”
It would have been so much better if I had done it like that, but then, I was coming down with a cold and my defenses were down a bit.
Thank God I don’t hit and thank God I know how to calm down in a hurry if I must!
*Kids do not try this at home!
Want to participate? First either get yourself a copy of A Writer’s Book of Days by Judy Reeves or read these guidelines. Then either check in to see what the prompt for the day is or read along in the book.
Tomorrow’ topic/prompt: Accept loss forever. (after Jack Kerouac).
