International Date Rape

Posted on September 21, 2003 in Folly Watch Francophobia Journalists & Pundits Occupation of Iraq

Streets that follow like a tedious argument

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question …

Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”


T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Or if you are a jingoistic columnist, don’t ask any questions at all!

That’s what made Thomas Friedman mad in his latest blast against France. They asked “If your invasion was all about democracy, why not give the Iraqis the vote?” Friedman answered:

France is not just our annoying ally. It is not just our jealous rival. France is becoming our enemy….

France wants America to sink in a quagmire there in the crazy hope that a weakened U.S. will pave the way for France to assume its ”rightful” place as America’s equal, if not superior, in shaping world affairs.

Greg Palast’s jaw hit the floor before mine did and in the resounding thunk declared:

France’s election suggestion was prompted by our Secretary of State, the pitiable Colin Powell who, on his boss Rumsfeld’s orders, demanded the European Union pony up $5 billion cash to rebuild the parts of Iraq we bombed. (Dollars only, euros not accepted.) And, says the Rummy to Elderly Europe, “Send us 25,000 troops and put’em under US command.” After all, didn’t we graciously replace France in Vietnam after Dien Bien Phu? Apparently, Rumsfeld thought France would jump at the chance for another game of Colonial Quagmire.

American war apologists are so obsessed with winning Vietnam in Iraq that they’re shooting at anything that moves. I can see Friedman with one hand down his trousers as he writes this. “Oh, I have need, he says. “I have need.” What this exchange is all about is France declining an invitation to international date rape. They don’t see the war in Iraq as part of the war on terrorism and they aren’t going to be suckered in. They were smart and got the hell out of Vietnam while the going was good and they’re smart enough to stay out of Iraq, particularly if the Bush Administration is going to be running the show.

They aren’t going to say yes to the bully of Crawford. I wouldn’t trust my wife or any female friend or relative with this administration. France is smart to stay out. Too bad we haven’t been.

“Soft on terror” is what the francophobes scream now. Oh really? Palast has an excellent response:

….how DARE Friedman say that France doesn’t care about the War on Terror. France declared war on Osama and his madmen years before September 11 got Bush to change from the view of his advisor, Robert Oakley, that we shouldn’t have a “fixation” on getting rid of bin Laden. French intelligence warned Bush to stop playing footsie with the Taliban, to stop coddling the Saudi Islamic dictatorship, to stop running interference for the bin Laden family. But would Little George listen? Noooo.

It used to be that an enemy was someone who attacked us or actively supported those who attack us. In the frothing yellow journalism of the present day, however, an enemy is someone who just says “No.”:

“Join us for the war in Iraq!”

“No.”

“Put 25,000 of your troops under U.S. command in Iraq.”

“No.”

“Don’t criticize us for reneging on Kyoto and not signing the landmine treaty.”

“No.”

“Come out to Lover’s Lane with us.”

“No.”

“YOU’RE A TERRORIST!”

“No.”

La Belle France is right to keep her legs crossed here. The Bush Administration and Friedman are saying “Have war sex with us and I promise you won’t get screwed.” Smart girls don’t play with boys who use such dumb lines.

I know that if your daughter found herself stuck in a car with a teenaged boy who claimed that he’d just “run out of gas” that you’d want her to walk, too.

Link filched from Yule Heibel.

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On a related note, check this link that I found through Rob of Conniption. Conservatives always say that those who benefit most from the services should pay for them, so why not make the rich and the people in Dove Canyon pay for their war in Iraq?