We must urgently go to war against Terriers

Posted on February 13, 2004 in War War on Terrier

We must urgently go to war against Terriers.

They must immediately and preemptively be attacked!

A true statement prepared by: Joel Sax, Prime Minister

Mean and highly dangerous elements are threatening the world, our freedom and values. They are surreptitiously supported by the internet clubs of Terriers. We have information, based on our reliable sources, that they are planning the outing of all gay personnel in Buckingham Palace. Moreover, we have proven facts, gathered by British intelligence, making me absolutely certain – far beyond any possible doubt – about their wicked intentions. I have spoken to Condoleezza Rice in the bathtub last week, re-confirming all this. I can only call upon those depraved mob out on the streets to go back to work and to support us in our fight against terrorism alongside our American friends. We know that these terrorists and this country supporting them, have dangerous weapons of mass destruction, such as letters of Spam e-mail. I know for sure – and this is a proven and overly and overly proven fact – that they can be ready and put into action in as little as 1 minutes. Colin Powell, this outstanding and honest man, will present the evidence to the UN next week. I am so proud that he will also strongly base his speach on the fine material the British secret service has come up with, in their eager and honest search for truth in our fight against terrorism and those evil spots on the world map, representing a thread to the free world. Some specific countries and the UN nearly altogether, resisting to this urgently necessary war, are just collaborators of the evil and history will tell them that we are right. If we would follow their utterly stupid arguments, THIS would be an insult to the UN, second to naught! Last but by no means least, I want to say ‘muchas gracias’ to Jose Maria Aznar, my intimate friend, for standing on our side in this important and urgently necessary war for the sake of freedom and our security.

February 13, 2004.

Joel Sax, Her Majesties’* Prime Minister.

Created with the help of Tony’s Lie-O-Matic Statement Generator which link I pinched from Hartsongs.

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*In alphabetical order: Boadicea, Fiona Phosphor, and Virginia Mew