The Golden Rule and Getting Laid

Posted on February 19, 2004 in Morals & Ethics Reading Sexuality

We were at a bookstore the other night and Lynn picked up a copy of Michael Shermer’s new book The Science of Good and Evil : Why People Cheat, Share, Gossip, and Follow the Golden Rule. She made me laugh when she read a passage describing how some men apply the Golden Rule: “Hey, I like people coming up to me and saying ‘Do you want to have sex with me?’ So it’s OK for me to ask, right?” Shermer suggests that this shows that the Golden Rule as stated can be misleading. Most women do not like men coming up to them and asking this question. So should we dump the wisdom of Jesus, Buddha, Confuscius, and many others? No. Shermer thinks we need to refine the guiding principle, to include this understanding: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you: ask them if a behavior bugs them and respect their feelings about it.”

I’ve liked every book Michael Shermer has written including Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time and How We Believe, 2nd Edition : Science, Skepticism, and the Search for God. He’s a rare author who leads me to set aside my usual misgivings about buying a hardback. I won’t be waiting for the paperback on this one.

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On another moral question — same sex marriage — I liked what Pen the Gutless Pacifist said:

Conservative Christians want to shock us with same sex unions and the prospect of what might be un-natural and immoral. What is un-natural and immoral is that in America Christians have forgotten what it means to be committed to anything. “Don’t flatter yourselves. It’s not sex. It’s constancy.”

I support the establishment of protections for all one on one unions. There’s no reason why the sex of the person you choose as a relative should matter. What matters is the commitment.