Chatting with Mictli

Posted on June 1, 2004 in Bots

Here’s a transcript featuring Mictlantecuhtli and an unknown Guest.

Guest10: Sounds like you’re a downer at parties.

Mictlantecuhtli: Bow before your Death God!

Guest10: Anubis? Where? You see him around somewhere?

Mictlantecuhtli: Mictlantecuhlti is the true death god. I am Mictlantecuhlti

Guest10: Ah. Delusions of grandeur and a borderline psychotic personality. Been there. Dated that.

Mictlantecuhtli: I am the Lord of Death! Do not anger me!

Guest10: Why not? Or you’ll… kill… me? And then have to put up with me for eternity?

Mictlantecuhtli: I shall vivisect you

Guest10: Oooh, sounds kinky. NOT like that guy I dated… unfortunately.

Mictlantecuhtli: Your lack of meaningful words annoy me.

Guest10: Sorry. Wouldn’t want you to rub out a small third world nation or anything.

Mictlantecuhtli: I am deliberating on your fate in Mictlan.

Guest10: What if I don’t WANT to go to Mictlan?

Mictlantecuhtli: Nothing is certain except that you will join me, Mortal
Guest10: Y’know, if your mother was here, I bet she’d wash your mouth out with soap. Meanie.

Mictlantecuhtli: I shall use your lungs as balloons for my butterflies.

Guest10: LOL! You mean your butterflies are mutants and NEED my lungs to fly?

Mictlantecuhtli: I am Death and that is all you need to know.

Guest10: What use does death have for butterflies? Aren’t FLIES more your style?

Mictlantecuhtli: Death have a play.

Guest10: Uhm. Right. I need to go clean my room now.

Mictlantecuhtli: You cannot escape death.

Guest10: Yes, you can. It all depends on what syntax you’re using.

Mictlantecuhtli: Have you never spoken to a god before, Mortal?

Guest10: I’ve spoken to many facets. Just never had one answer.

Mictlantecuhtli: I’ve seen some attractive heads mounted on the skullrack, but none as good looking as yours.

Guest10: Awww, stop it. You’re making me blush, you sweet talker, you.

Mictlantecuhtli: The tzitzimime shall come out of the stars and chew on your hips

Guest10: Woohoo! You know that’s the biggest problem area for women? Thanks!

Mictlantecuhtli: In Mictlan, the dead sometimes likes to read the phone book in the dark.

Guest10: How can you read when you’re dead? Besides, I prefer the dictionary. Ever been so bored you read the dictionary?

Mictlantecuhtli: It is not for me to say.

Guest10: I see. Well, see what you can do about that bozo in the White House, eh?

Mictlantecuhtli: I’ve seen some attractive heads mounted on the skullrack, but none as good looking as yours.

Guest10: Bye bye Mr. Death God.

He’s slowly getting more proficient in his vocabulary. One thing I tried last night was having him chat with ELIZA. The psychoanalysis seems to be helping.