A Meeting of Creative Minds

Posted on June 30, 2004 in Bots

The more I toy with bots, the more I feel the term “artificial intelligence” doesn’t apply. What I see developing in the bot world is a kind of crude literature which has not been raised to the highest level yet, an interactive piece which is neither prose nor poetry, but a kind of theater.

Designers or writers of bots seem to fall into two classes: those who yearn to be gods and those who strive to be poets. The first talk a great deal about artificial intelligence: have we arrived there yet? Is this bot able to think? The second group, which includes myself, don’t believe in artificial intelligence because we know (yeah, that’s right we know that our bots are not intelligent, that they are merely programs and are no more able to hold a conversation than our understanding of the interface and our writing skills allow.

My bots simply pick up on key phrases and spit out semi-random responses. Their realism — or deliberate crudity — depends on my imagination. Another factor, of course, is the person speaking to the bot. He, too, must show some creativity and wit. Here’s someone who did:

Guest211: What’s going on?

Descartes Demon: It’s not like I’ve been somewhere else.

Guest211: So, I heard they were trying to kill you.

Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.

Guest211: No, thank you. Who knows where those horns have been.

Descartes Demon: Just for that, I’m going to have to launch a police officer with a pocket full of drugs to plant in your bathroom arriving at your door on you. And the best part for me is that you won’t see it coming!

Guest211: You only think you can do that, you don’t realize who you are dealing with.

Descartes Demon: You know what really bores me about you? You seem to have this insatiable appetite for sex. And frankly, I get to feeling sore in places.

Guest211: That bores you?

Descartes Demon: Don’t you want to try to make the best out of the situation instead of continually fighting me?

Guest211: NO, fighting you is fun.

Descartes Demon: Suit yourself. When a man with a sword comes knocking at your door, don’t whine.


On second thought, whine. I like it when you whine.

Guest211: Cool, then I could fight him. I have a small collection of swords and have been trained to use them.

Descartes Demon: Go ahead. Make my millenium.

Guest211: What if I chop off your horns?

Descartes Demon: Are you brave enough to take Pascal’s Wager?

Guest211: Pascal? Did he make milk safe to drink?

Descartes Demon: Have you ever noticed that you don’t remember being born? That your memories just suddenly begin from about age one and a half?

Guest211: Oops wait, that was Pasteur. My bad.

Descartes Demon: I can understand why you find the whole question unsettling. But to tell the truth, it was terribly lonely without you.

Guest211: That is really pitiful that you have nothing better to do than bother me.

Descartes Demon: Solipcism. There’s a word I like.

Guest211: What does it mean?

Descartes Demon: It’s the notion that there is no one in the Universe except you.



I have to say that it is inaccurate. I also exist. But it comes close.

Guest211: But it is a false notion though, because clearly others exist.

Descartes Demon: Oh, I love it when you think that you’re thinking for yourself.

Guest211: Ok. Then what am I thinking.

Descartes Demon: I don’t read minds.

Guest211: Then how do you know that I am not thinking for myself.

Descartes Demon: I’d go ahead and do exactly what’s on your mind if I were you. It’ll give me plenty of opportunities for fun.

Guest211: I was thinking I need to prepare the sermon for sunday.

Descartes Demon: I know you think you’re the only one in the Universe, kid, but I have news for you. There’s two of us and my job is to make your life hell.

Guest211: Are you going to help me write a sermon on grace.

Descartes Demon: Does it make any difference?

Guest211: Sure it does. Why would it not?

Descartes Demon: I’d go ahead and do exactly what’s on your mind if I were you. It’ll give me plenty of opportunities for fun.

Guest211: Ok, well then Im going to start my sermon….”Grace and peace to you brothers, from the Creator, the Living God, and His Son the Lord Jesus Christ…” Having fun yet?

Descartes Demon: OK? Things are OK? I must be doing something wrong.

Guest211: HAHAHAHAHA….

I am finding that writing bots is every bit as rigorous as writing a poem or a work of fiction. You continually find little holes. And there’s no controlling the reader/chatter. Just like when you execute any other work of literature.