Observing States of Mind

Posted on September 29, 2002 in Attitudes Blogging Crosstalk

kd talks about her Switzerland state of mind when it comes to blog wars:

i am cursed with the ability to read two posts that are arguing directly with each other and agree with both. i am defined by my indecision. i’ve even applied my indecisiveness unevenly, and that will probably continue, though not with any predictable continuity.

Perhaps she is responding, in part, to my recent posts expressing my concern about the reasons some people give for not signing the Not in Our Name statement. If she has not recognized it yet, we’re in sympathy.

When I post a call to action, there are many things that I know to be true: first, I feel that the situation is so bad that some kind of statement should be made and that I want to be making a statement. I announce them because I know and hope that there are other people who witnessed the same thing as I do. Second, I am confident that not everyone will agree. Third, I am well acquainted with the finding that many people don’t know what to think. When opposition and uncertainty are the primary reasons for not signing a statement, I have no trouble. What scares me is not neutrality, but the fear held by my allies. Are my friends who believe in the Not in Our Name statement but won’t sign paranoid or did I make a mistake to come out? It happens in my life, in my mind. Therefore, I note it.

kd’s statement of ambivalence and uncertainty are the stuff of good blogging. She’s truthful, self-examining, and clear about being muddle-headed. Those who have been following some of the articles that have appeared on my blog lately may realize that I post far many more descriptions of the attitudes I see and very few refutations. This is not to say that the pacifism which is central to my ethics is invisible. I merely believe that good blog means describing what is out there. And it helps me keep focus on a most important fact: that opinions reside in human beings.

I’m not going up to the loudmouths in the coffee houses and giving them a piece of my mind. Nor do I post to start flame wars. I post to mention when it seems on topic to do so. (I’m relieved, to tell the truth, that comments are thin because mostly, I suspect, they would be full of undiluted hatred for my position. It’s an old story.) It is important, I feel, to record my witness to the world. What I see now is a muddled picture. And to tell the truth, I hate writing about it like this, as “what the world thinks against Joel” because I am not so damned certain that I do know what the world thinks. I’d much rather watch and tell you what I have seen, overheard, or had told to me, than browbeat you to believe as I do.

And that is, for the most part, how I have chosen to write of these difficult matters and concerns that I have run across these past few months.