Thereness

Posted on December 9, 2004 in Uncertainty

There are places which are not depression, not anger, not anxiety, not rage, not happiness, not sadness. They come in the color of a dark steel blue night. I call them a Waiting. I have been in a waiting for past several days.

Sometimes I have felt anger, sometimes joy. But I keep coming back to this feeling like sitting in the middle of a desert wash at night, listening to the wind flowing over the broken and half smoothed stones. My shoulders feel relaxed. No heat rises from my head. The muscles that stretch from in front of my ears to the tip of my jaw raise a smile.

Think of that intense, pure soothing deep blue. Think of silence. That is the place where I am at between episodes of my life. Call it “thereness”.