Big Little Man

Posted on February 5, 2005 in Reflections

People think that when you are six feet four inches, you don’t fear anyone. I have to tell them that they are wrong. Big guys aren’t afraid of other big guys, usually, because we trust one another. There’s a quiet fraternity that sometimes gathers in a corner and talks about the expectations of the people of middle height: Did you play basketball in high school? Then there are the plain rude questions that tend to diminish as we grow older such as “How’s the weather up there?” Finally, there are the more innocent requests that we usually honor unless the person is making a pest of him or herself: “Could you get that can of beets off the top shelf for me? I can’t reach it.”

I have few problems with short people — midgets and dwarfs — because they share their frustration of being focused upon because of their height. Occasionally you meet one with an attitude, but I can usually make fast friends with them. We are, after all, isolated from the middle because of how tall we are.

There is a class that I and other tall people — especially men — fear. It’s those men — and some women — between about 5 ‘0″ and 5 ‘5″. When they come into the company of a big man, you can often see the panic. Some avoid you. Others attack.

Big men see these fellows as a threat. Where we just get along with most people, the ones on the lower end of “average” height can be scrappers. When they strike, they hit to hurt you — either with words or force. You can see it in their faces when you come around — the eyes always watching you, the nervous gestures, the frowns, the silent treatment when you talk to them. I like to go for walks: these fellows show up at the martial arts studios and practice ways to incapacitate or even kill me. (Go by one sometime and note the height of the men through the glass. You will see few midgets or people over 5′ 7″ — if any.)

The man of mediocre height (as he sees it in that part of the brain where he represses shame) thinks he is Jack and I am the Giant. He thinks that you shouldn’t exist because you make him look bad. He tells his son “Find the biggest guy in the school and kick the shit out of him so people will respect you.” It’s an odd and dangerous grope for self-esteem. He’s friendly enough towards his own, but he hates you without reason. And you’re just a big guy, as human as he is. You don’t mean him any harm, but he thinks you do. His feelings of intimidation can boil over into accusations like “You think you’re better than anyone else” or, worse, what he calls a “demonstration of the center of gravity.” “The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” is his watchword. He may be overweight because he is desparate to make himself loom larger. Tall men figure him out in seconds by the signs I mentioned above.

When we find one of these, there are only two sensible strategies: 1.) Stay the hell out of his way if he is physically violent or 2.) Stand your ground without threatening him. If he doesn’t see that he’s a fool, the smart people around you will figure out that he is and join you. As for the ones who don’t get it — do you really want to associate with them?

Thanks to Blaugustine for the link to Virtual Egypt’s Cartouche Creator.