The Mind of A Stalker

Posted on April 11, 2005 in OCD Responsibility

In my loneliness, sometimes, I get euphoric when obtaining a phone number or an email address. I will call or send messages that bury the person. And so do I lose friends, starving myself of that which I crave. It’s like eating a whole bag of potato chips or a whole box of cookies. I stuff myself. My flatuence drives away all those who might join me.

I’m not a stalker. Stalkers never give up. They never respect a front door, an email filter, a lock, the word “No”. When I think I see the brushoff, I leave. I accept rejection readily though I do not like it because it brings me back to the same place, the tube jabbed through the heart of a mountain, the darkness which is hunger. And I force myself to fast.

This fear of being seen as overly needy is one reason why I don’t call people much.