How to be a Papal Savant

Posted on April 22, 2005 in Fact-Dropping Pontiff Watch

This is a bit of shameless salesmanship, but I hope to alleviate the trauma that I put you through by adding an interesting fact. If you’ve been dying to be seen as an expert on the Papacy, you can pick up the Oxford Dictionary of Popes, a thorough-going reference work which includes all the popes, anti-popes (except for Martin Luther), and the mythic Pope Joan.

From this work, I gleaned the sad story of Pope Formosus who reigned from 891 to 896. The dictionary describes him as “a man of exceptional intelligence, exemplary life, and strict asceticism (the only fault alledged against him was ambtion)”. These qualities evidentally pissed off the more mudane Romans so much that when the poor fellow died, his successor, Stephen VI, had him dragged from his tomb, propped up on a throne in full papal vestments, and subjected to a trial with Stephen VI as prosecutor. Stephen flung question after question at the corpse who, of course, did not reply to a single one. “See!” Stephen would cry. “He is speechless! He does not deny the charge!” As punishment for his lifeless defense, Formosus was found guilty of perjury, coveting the papal throne, and violating the canons forbidding the translation of bishops. (Evidentally bishops found it annoying to hear their Latin translated as needed to be done for Cardinal Spellman at Vatican II? Bad joke. True story about Spellman.)

Stephen nullified every act and pronouncement of the dead man. Formosus’s body was mutilated (the three fingers of his right hand were cut off) and then flung into the Tiber where it was retrieved by a friendly hermit. As for Stephen VI, a Roman mob invaded the Vatican after the Lateran Cathedral collapsed. They dragged him to a nearby gaol where, a few days later, they strangled him. Pope Theodore II ordered Formosus reinterred in full papal glory in St. Peter’s.

There was only one pope of this name. I suspect no one wanted to tempt history repeating itself?

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You might also enjoy The Bad Popes. The chapters for Pius XI, John Paul II, and Pope Rat have yet to be written.