My Own Stalker

Posted on May 7, 2005 in Anger Hope and Joy

I had a stalker — a special kind of stalker that I attract — come after me today. No details about where. Save to say that in a group situation, I was attacked unfairly for the second time.

And I stood up for myself in an assertive manner — pointing out only that I was angry and that I respected every member of the group for who they were.

Stalkers like this are sneaky. They use small bits of information to get at you. This one was no exception — after my declaration, my stalker pretended to talk about himself while making insinuations that I was messed up. I just listened. He was not going to have power over me.

Perhaps he will get how he acted. I have already begun the process of forgiveness: I vow to take no revenge. This doesn’t give him or anyone else license to walk all over me. I shall stand up for myself. I shall listen respectfully to this person. But if he comes to me and offers to make up, I’ll qualify my apology: “I accept your apology. As for any future relationship: We’ll see how it goes.” Accepting an apology does not mean that I grant friendship. It merely affirms what I have already acted upon.

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We have other stalkers that live in our brains. I’ve been holding long conversations with one who takes the form of my brother. In real life, my brother laughs off any attempt by me to confront him. In my fantasy life, he cannot help but listen. There is so much to go through.