Star Bores

Posted on May 12, 2005 in Crosstalk Film

George Lucas should have stopped with Return of the Jedi. In fact, I feel, he should never have made that one and let someone else who had a mind for plot over special effects do it instead. I won’t be seeing the latest episode of the Lucas saga. Years ago, people were shocked that I had not seen the original film five years after its premiere. Eventually, I did. But I promise you that this time I won’t. I am just too tired of gimmickry over plot.

For me, the masterpiece of the series was The Empire Strikes Back. An excellent script coupled with reasonable special effects made this the best science fiction film I had seen up to that time. But it was more than a sci fi film: it was grand opera with all the characters playing mythic roles. What fan of twists could not clap when Darth revealed himself as Luke’s father? (I had a three year running argument regarding whether or not he really was with a friend — I won.) The making of the new films — which tell Darth’s story — undo this. That is one of the reasons that I have not seen a single one of them.

Another reason is that I am sick and tired of all the junk paraphenalia. The toys. The action figures. The books. The ugly newt. Can’t our culture move past this? After a while, all the material looks like so much junk picked up by the side of the road. And I don’t doubt that it will end up there.

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MetaManda pointed us to this harsh review:

Though Lucas has called Sith “Titanic in space,” the pivotal romance between Anakin and Padmé burns with all the passion of rubbing together two action figures—computer-generated characters like wheezing cyborg baddie General Grievous and blippeting fireplug R2-D2 emote more convincingly than either Natalie Portman or Hayden Christensen (whose enunciation still shuttles between London and Long Island). A more erotically charged seduction occurs when Palpatine lures Anakin to the dark side; Ian McDiarmid’s unctuous Emperor—who bears a strange resemblance to Pope Benedict XVI, sunken eyes and all—turns appropriately vampiric as he attempts to draw Anakin into the Sith fold with promises of eternal life.

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There was something subtly fascist in all the Star Wars movies, vaguely reminiscent of Lohengrin or The Triumph of the Will. Recollect the final scene of the original movie when the awards were handed out and the rebels were all gathered in the Great Hall. The music was decidedly Wagnerian, the setting Nurembergesque.

I pointed this out to my friends. I also noted the infatuation with explosions and guns. But they wanted their personal light sabers. The booms and the flashes were nothing more than fireworks. Weren’t the Imperial Storm Troopers also men? Didn’t those suits seek to make them inhuman?

My friends of the time just blinked at me.