What Does Joel Need?

Posted on October 14, 2005 in Memes

Memes encroach on this blogspace like wildfires burn steadily towards their fuel. I picked up one from Lynn where the aim is to do a Google search for “[Your first name] needs” and compile the results as a blog entry. Here goes:

• Joel needs your help, to help Katrina victims
• Joel needs testers
• Joel needs equipment to be effective*
• Joel needs to read*
• Joel needs to do his hair differently
• Joel needs to get his facts straight
• Joel needs pword
• Joel needs sign-ups
• Joel needs to rewrite his wonderful software in .NET and _then_ tell us why it wasn’t worth it
• Joel needs to work on all of his offensive game in order to become the star most people are predicting him to become
• Joel needs lots of love and attention**
• Joel needs the blog to accomplish the necessary delay/mental fermentation required to produce real thinking*
• Joel needs to re-read the bits in the software-engineering books (oh no, please. Mercy!)
• Joel needs to work through his own priorities*
• Joel needs to go back to the red and black
• Joel needs this stuff, who’s the best man to provide it?
• Joel needs God to sustain anything
• Joel needs therapy* (and I get it)
• Joel needs to live with a family until he is old enough to look after himself (How much older do I have to be? I am 47 for crying out loud!)
• Joel needs constant attention and he can’t control his mood swings (maybe so, but lithium and Lamictal can)
• Joel needs a treadmill*
• Joel needs to go back to the original joel we know
• Joel needs support from his family and friends*
• Joel needs a job like all Americans
• Joel needs help*
• Joel needs to stay in the studio and leave the remotes for the guest comedians
• Joel needs to respond with tenderness
• Joel needs to talk directly to those who are interested
• Joel needs more hair (I do not!)
• Joel needs a physical to get into treatment
• Joel needs to say something, Anne
• Joel needs a spokesman for his Internet company
• Joel needs no introduction to anyone who’s followed pop music in the past 25 years
• Joel needs to go back and make sure that Group Delay variation of certain channels fits within the channel
• Joel needs to work on how governance in this system’s going to work
• Joel needs an intervention
• Joel needs some technique modification on the stiff-legs and ball crunches
• Joel needs funds*** (and how!)
• Joel needs to get a bottled water jug
• Joel needs help taking care of his niece

The fragments quoted above do not necessarily reflect the actual character or temperament of Joel Sax.

Whew! If you haven’t done this meme yet, do it and trackback so I can read the results.

UPDATE: I marked the items that I felt to be true with an asterisk (*)