Scary Costumes for 2005

Posted on October 31, 2005 in Crosstalk Festivals

Bitch Ph.d shared what she thinks might be the scariest costume that could come to her door tonight. I came up with the following possibilities for myself:

• Tom Cruise carrying a pile of anti-psychiatry Scientology literature. Whenever I ask him a question, he either calls me a dupe or runs to check the answer with his fellows at the Church. He won’t leave me alone.
• A new peer-reviewed study showing that Tom is right.
• George W. Bush carrying a plan to balance the budget by taxing medication.
• A cable service man with a court order that compels me to install his product and watch Fox News for at least three hours a day
• Lindsay Beyerstein come to my door to inform me that she has decided that Christopher Hitchens was right and has decided to become a fervent opponent of the Left.
• Lindsay with Christopher Hitchens as her date.
• Crazy Tracy coming to tell me that she has become a Scientologist.
• My mother with Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil at her side to tell me that I am a bad son.
• AHnold.
• AHnold and his wife Maria Shriver.
• AHnold, his wife, and their kids.
• A copy of the Orange County Register with an endorsement of Proposition 78
• Dan Savage who promptly informs me that I am his date for a night at a leather bar.
• Kids trick or treating for pennies to destroy the UN
• Someone coming to recruit me for Survivor: Newport Beach.
• An early twenties know-it-all come to tell me how I completely misjudge Orange County and/or I shouldn’t try to change it.
• A certain OC Weekly staffer.

So what scares you?