Ambush at Huntington Beach Pier

Posted on December 3, 2005 in Encounters The Orange

Lynn had to proctor an exam for her professional society, so I accepted an invitation to go with my friend Kitty to walk on Huntington Beach Pier. I learned that you can save money by parking far enough away, where there were no meters. No sign of the Comely Iguana, though at the sight of her I would have run up and said “Hi. We met in Dr. H’s office just the other day!” (Oh, to know her story!)

But I wiggle like a parasailer trying to get aloft and splashing his feet in the sea, which is not where I want to be.

We walked down the end of Main Street, looking in the shops and bars at curios and curious customers who reeked of suds. I toyed with photographing a bright pink store called The Electric Chair and a wooden idol of a blonde girl wearing a yellow bikini, but restrained myself.

Main Street ended, like all main drags in California beach towns, at the Pacific Coast Highway. You cross it in front of a few hundred cars coming in either direction. The Huntington Pier begins about fifteen feet past the curb. It punches the sand, the water, and the air maybe a quarter to a third of a mile. Ruby’s Surfside Diner crowns the end.

It was at the entrance that I met the Supporter.

He solicited signatures for a petition. As I approached, he held his head down, like a pitcher pulling himself together for a throw. Then he bent his neck back, turned 165 degrees to his left, and showed me what he had on his clipboard.

Across the top, a white bumper sticker with green lettering proposed a “CALIFORNIA BORDER POLICE.”

“Would you like to sign this?” he asked.

“Does this have anything to do with Gilchrist?”

“Yes,” he said as I walked past.

“No-thank-you.” I enunciated each word musically.

“Did you sign it?” he said. I kept walking. “Are you a friend or a foe?” he called after me. “Are you a friend or a foe?”

And that is why I will not sign that petition and why I will not vote for Jim Gilchrist.

“Are you a friend or a foe?”

Shut up.