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How to Talk to A Bipolar
Why do those who don’t have mood disorders have a penchant for making things worse with their comments. We all know the clown who believes that we can drop the thought and be instantly happy! (Some of these go to support groups, unfortunately.) Others blast you for entertaining angry thoughts or believe your depression to be willful. (Even a few psychiatrists believe this is the case.
This list came from a flyer developed by the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance entitld “What Helps and What Hurts”.
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What Hurts |
What Helps |
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It’s all in your head. |
I know you have a real illness and that’s what causes these thoughts and feelings. |
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We all go through times like this. |
I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel but I care about you and want to help. |
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You have so much to live for. Why do you want to die? |
You are important to me. Your life is important to me. |
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What do you want me to do? I can’t change your situation? |
Tell me what I can do now to help you. |
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Just snap out of it. Look on the bright side. |
You might not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change. |
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You’ll be fine. Stop worrying. |
You are not alone in this. I’m here for you. |
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Here’s my advice…. |
Talk to me. I’m listening. |
A parting thought: we often hear about bipolars who won’t take meds, go to groups, etc. but not enough is said about family members who won’t learn about the disease, learn how to help and to cope, or go to groups. Is this not as serious a problem, especially when lives are on the line?
Posted: March 24th, 2006 under Mental Illness.
Comments: 5 |
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Comments
Comment from m. luminous
Time: 3/25/2006, 1:39 am
Yes, I think that family support is very important. I have three brothers, one of them is bipolar, and the other two don’t understand why he can’t just control his temper better. Most people in my family have a hard time understanding the simple concept that if you raise your voice to someone who is yelling because he is manic and overwhelmed with everything in his head, he’s going to yell back. I think it’s the responsibility of the non-manic person to do what they can to keep the situation from escalating, and it’s frustrating to see when that doesn’t always happen. Words have a lot of power, and I worry about the words my brother is hearing.
Comment from The Queen
Time: 3/25/2006, 7:08 pm
Thank you for this. As you know my hubby can be somewhat insensitive, and I have printed this out and given it to him:)
Comment from Joel
Time: 3/26/2006, 12:20 am
Tea: Yes, and a good word can be said for their Peer to Peer program.
Luminous: Only we writers appreciate that enough to talk about it or so it seems.
The Queen: Yes, ignorance is powerful. 
Another source for inofrmation about how to talk to a bipolar is Lana Castle’s “Bipolar Disorder Demystified”.
Comment from tp
Time: 4/3/2006, 1:43 pm
Like The Queen, my partner, despite good intentions, can be insensitive and unhelpful, especially when I’m in my worst states. If I had a printer I would print it out for him – instead I will be able to decode him 
)
Time: 3/24/2006, 8:42 pm
And let me just say YAY for NAMI’s family-to-family programs.