Species

Posted on August 7, 2006 in Gyms

The species of slob — when found in locker rooms — is usually confined to young men. These can be quite expansive in laying out their towels, canvas bags, underwear, socks, sweat bands, gym shorts, wife-beater shirts, and water bottles. The one I ran into today merely grunted in displeasure when I asked for about two feet of space along a bench so I could undress for the shower.

An old man greeted me as I entered the locker room. After I finished my thirty minutes going over hill and vale on a treadmill, I came back to find him combing the hair on his silver head, being sure that each was in the proper position before he left.

A teenager combed the only two hairs on his chin. He was biding his time until this lumbering beast picked up his stuff and moved on.

In my defense, I didn’t know.

One fellow who mingled with the weight stands on the main floor growled each time he lifted. I resisted the compulsion to yell “That man needs an air sickness bag! Hurry!