Advice for Parents of Bipolar Adults

Posted on September 18, 2006 in Bipolar Disorder

These suggestions arise out of my personal experience and the experience of other suffers of the illness. The thing to remember is that the person you want to help (you do want to help your child, right?) is sick. The object is not to create a clone of yourself or a wage slave. It is to make a happy person. This needn’t be at your cost in the long term.

1. Don’t get between your child and her/his psychiatrist.
2. If your child has a drug abuse problem, don’t drink or use any kind of drug in your house. This includes tobacco. You have a right to prohibit these in your house.
3. If your child does not use drugs or alcohol or tobacco, be thankful.
4. Don’t ask for rent unless you absolutely need it. (How is the kid supposed to save enough for a down payment on an apartment if you’re sponging off her/him?) It’s okay to ask for help with the food if the child is able to work.
5. Let your child have friends over (including overnight guests that you know) as long as they obey your household rules.
6. If you call your child a loser, s/he will turn into a loser. S/He will be a reflection of you.
7. Be careful how you use “tough love”. Don’t throw a depressed child out unless you like the idea of seeing them homeless.
8. It’s OK to set certain hours when your child cannot be at home, say 8 am to 6 pm. This helps prevent isolating. “You can’t be at home. So go to the library, the park, the gym, etc.”
9. Most of us will come around to working if you let us heal.
10. Help us with educational expenses. Let us choose our own path in life.
11. Don’t tell your child to lie about the disease.
12. Be open to criticism.
13. Listen.
14. Attend peer support groups and educational programs.
15. Praise small steps and do not push too far too fast.

The name of the game is stability.

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Here’s a healthy trend: adult children in some states may be able to stay on their parents’ health plans until as high as thirty years of age.