Two Plagues

Posted on August 19, 2007 in Weather Whines

Somewhere there’s got to be a science fiction story about a black planet just radiating heat. The natives paint white, yellow and blue stripes over the surface, then move their black-tired transport vehicles into alignments prefigured by these arrangements. The sentient life forms of this planet run from their transports into refrigerated warehouses and back again.

You can experience a virtual version of this at the corner of El Toro and Rockfield in Lake Forest. The temperatures approach those of Corona.

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A fly problem took us to Home Depot today. Swarms of them waited outside our front door. A few of them darted past our door when we opened it and made way for the litter box far in back of the condo. I wanted a cure that meant death to the parents, abortion to the maggots.

When we got to the Foothill Ranch store, they were all out of non-nuclear indoor cures. They had those plastic bags and jugs that stank of carrion for sale, but we didn’t want these in our office. Half a dozen people stood around waiting for one of the customer service reps to supply them with anti-fly products — there seems to be a Moses somewhere wishing them down on Foothill Ranch and Portola Hills.

What we wanted was a No-Pest Strip, a poison-saturated rectangle that would put every [[Diptera|dipterid]] in our office to eternal rest. The customer service desk sent us to the El Toro store and — yes! — they had the killing slab. I hung it in the office and watched as the [[Calyptratae|caluptrataens]] succumbed, spiralling in drowsy dreams until they fell.

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Now I wonder: when will the toads show, when will we be covered with boils?