When the Bootstraps Break, Have Something Ready

Posted on April 15, 2010 in Psychotropics Stigma

As a teenager and a young adult, I adopted the position that I would “pull myself up by my bootstraps” rather than take any medication for my depression or my anxiety. Pills meant that you were weak and truly crazy ((Like not taking them meant I wasn’t?)) My family of origin encouraged me in this. My wife suffered the effects ((Which fortunately did not include domestic violence. Like 97% of nonimbibing bipolars, I did not strike or threaten to strike her.)) . The years passed by and conditions inside my head worsened: the rages became more frequent and intense, the depressions more profound. It became increasingly impossible to implement the good advice therapists gave me because of the clash of storm wave to rocky shore in my head.

If I am to leave any advice to young people it is this: It can be an ennobling thing to attempt to take on your illness unmedicated and it is your right to choose such a path. But never, ever close the door to recovery by saying you will never take medication. It is not becoming addicted any more than a diabetic becomes addicted to insulin or a heart patient becomes addicted to the drugs that bring down her/his blood pressure and lessen the cholesterol in her/his system. If you need help, accept it. I made a huge mistake closing this door: my brain paid for it in the form of worsening moods, hallucinations, and anxiety. A little in the beginning might well have lessened the amount I am taking now. Be of open mind and make the right decisions for your health. You are still a human being worthy of dignity and respect if you choose to take meds. Shun those who tell you otherwise.