Poor Little Rich Children

Posted on February 13, 2003 in Mailbox

Teachers and staff at Pacific Palisades High School — where Ronald and Nancy Reagan would be sending their kids if they had any of teenaged years who were still talking to them — have voted to place the following on the school’s answering machine. The school is being sued by certain parents who are upset that their little darlings — who missed between 15 to 30 days of school — are being flunked:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please
listen to all your options before making a selection:

• To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

• To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

• To complain about what we do – Press 3

• To swear at staff members – Press 4

• To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your
  newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

• If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

Parents in the case think that their children deserve to attend their alma maters. They view the failing grades as an unfair obstacle. After all, as we all know from the examples of two of the last three Republican presidents, their children are certainly smart enough to be President.

They want the same advantages that our pResident had. Is that so unfair?