My Own Suggestions to Bloggers and Commentators

Posted on March 13, 2003 in Crosstalk

I’m not going to hit you folks with a list of things you shouldn’t do. Instead, I will note a few things that I like to see in blogs:

• Write about the things you care about.
• Write in all moods. Be honest about how you feel and, from time to time, check your feelings.
  
• Have the courage to admit that you are wrong.
  
• Have the courage to admit it when you are hurt or confused.
  
• Tell the truth.
  
• Kiss your frogs. Not every entry will be perfect. When we’re sick or on pain killers or just blue, we can say hurtful things. Fix things as best you can and move on.
  
• Do what you can to promote other blogs. Tell us about articles you find elsewhere and how you feel about them. Tell us how to find them. Help your readers find blogs that you like.
  
• Repay your debts to those who have helped you gain more readers or improve your blog.
  
• Treat crosstalk and outright discussion of the things you have written about as a gift. The pebbles we toss ripple. I don’t see Trackback as benefitting only the pinger. It also benefits me because it creates a larger audience for blog.
  
• Run your blog on your own terms, but with a mind to fairness for all who visit it. Personally, I only draw the line at hate talk and anonymous posting.
  
• If you want someone to leave you alone/stop commenting on your blog, say so in no uncertain terms. Don’t play around by moving your website to a new location or ignoring them when they come a commenting. If you drop people from your blog roll, tell them why.
  
• If you must move your blog, have the courtesy to inform others that you have done so.
  
• Realize that people go through patches, bad and good. Be forgiving.
  
• Anger is a valid thing to blog. A little venting can heal. But (and I have made this mistake), try resolving the issue by private email first if the cause seems to be another blogger. And, after you’ve said enough, drop it. Give things a rest, at least for a few weeks.
  
• It is perfectly reasonable to revise what you say or to remove something from your blog that you feel has unduly hurt someone.
  
• Listen to your commentators. Remember to thank them (THANK YOU!) for their participation in your personal salon. Visit their blogs and leave them kind messages.
  
• Forgive yourself when you fuck up.

Suggestions for Commentators/Readers:

• Participate in the blogs that you read, honestly and considerately.
  
• Don’t expect people to write the way you think they should write.

• Tell the truth, but try not to make things worse.
  
• Write about the things you care about. Tell us why you care.
  
• Be there for those going through a bad time. Some take longer than others.
  
• If you have a disagreement with another chatter, state what the disagreement is. Compare and contrast your points of view.
  
• Be encouraging of those who blog. Writing is a good thing.
  
• Have the courage to admit when you are wrong. Remember it happens to a lot of us. Too many people never admit to this.
  
• Fight for yourself. Gang-banging only suggests that you are insecure and weak. Maybe the person you’re attacking with others has something you should be listening to?
  
• Respect the right of every blogger to put pink flamingos on her/his blog. Don’t attack a blog because they write about things that you wouldn’t in your own blog.
  
• If someone doesn’t want you to comment on their blog, don’t go there. Ever.
  
• Remember that you aren’t going to help someone out of a depression by telling them not to be depressed.
  
• Be forgiving of the frogs that other bloggers sometimes release on the world.

If others can’t forgive you, forgive them anyways and move on. Keep writing. Keeping thinking. Keep creating.

Scott McGerik also wrote thoughtfully on this subject.