Dream
Posted on July 2, 2011 in Dreams
I’m cooking dinner with my mother. She is working on one dish and I am creating the other while concentrating on an online game. When it is time to serve it, I discover that she has added large charcoal briquettes to my part of the meal. She insists that this is what the recipe calls for over my protests. I check a calendar and discover that I should be back at school. Why hasn’t she told me?
Amazon Affiliate Program Discontinued
Posted on June 30, 2011 in Class Site News
The Amazon affiliate program that you never bothered to buy from here at Pax Nortona has been discontinued due to the fact that I am a California resident. Once again, the effort to punish the small businessman to protect the big businessman has been successful. If things go as they have been, trust that this site will be prevented from publishing at all due to the defunding of net neutrality.
This class warfare against you and me has got to stop.
A Ragged Shape
Posted on June 30, 2011 in Bipolar Disorder Neighborhood
One of those things that worry me flitted into consciousness the other night. Lynn had just turned off of Saddleback Ranch Road onto Ridgeline when I spied it off to the left: a dark gray-brown form, ragged at the edges and possessing four legs. It looked to me that Lynn was about to hit it so I cried out. She stopped about ten feet past the beast. I looked back. No creature, no bloody tracks where the car had dragged a dead body. Just the parked cars on our right.
Had I seen something or was it one of my hallucinations?
“Did you see it? Did you see it?” I repeated to Lynn.
“No,” she said. “But just because I didn’t doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.”
I held my silence as she made the left toward our home. What was it? I thought “cat” at the glance. “Raccoon” or “skunk” could also have fit the outline. What worried me most was the possibility that my anti-psychotic had stopped working. I didn’t need to suffer a relapse into the strange world of the seen but nonexistent.
I hope that somewhere out there, there is a cat or a raccoon or a skunk that has been scared into a lesson.
Why There Haven’t Been Any Wall Street Prosecutions
Posted on June 26, 2011 in Justice Scoundrels
I have to admit that it has bugged me, too. For eight years, Wall Street ran rampant over America. We gave them a bailout and they gave themselves bonuses. Their hedge funds and their mortgage manipulations led to the collapse of our economy in December 2007. So why haven’t we done anything about it?
The latest issue of The New Yorker has a long and interesting article about the largest insider trading prosecution in U.S. history. In the middle of it, there is this bit of information:
Fraud abetted the financial crisis, from the marketing of deceitful financial products to the banks’ concealment of losses after the housing market collapsed. Then why are no executives in jail? One reason is that criminal law often founders in what prosecutors call a “dead-body case.” During the mortgage bubble, the possible crimes were committed before any investigations had begun. By the time the government could have gathered enough evidence to obtain wiretaps, any incriminating conversations would have long since taken place.
The Department of Justice also played a role in inhibiting vigorous prosecutions. In 2008, the department, under President George W. Bush’s Attorney General, Michael Mukasey, distributed the major new investigations across different offices. Countrywide went to the U.S. Attorney’s office in Los Angeles; Washington Mutual was claimed by Seattle; A.I.G. was pursued out of Washington, D.C., with the coöperation of New York’s Eastern District, in Brooklyn. Lehman Brothers was split among New Jersey and the Eastern and Southern Districts of New York. The Southern District, with its superior experience and expertise in accounting fraud, was largely cut out. Neil Barofsky, a former Southern District prosecutor who left the office in December, 2008, to become the first inspector general of the Troubled Asset Relief Program, considers this a mistake. “The Department of Justice made a decision that decreased the probability that those cases are going to get made,” he said. He suggested that the attorneys in the Southern District weren’t happy about missing the chance. “Getting the C.E.O. of a major bank is not a career killer,” he said. “It’s a career maker.”
So the investigations didn’t take place because when prosecutors were hobbled at the very time when their investigations could have proved decisive. We blame Obama for not taking action, but The New Yorker article suggests that the opportunity had long passed by the time he got in office. So agents concentrated on the frauds that they could nail down. Their activity now serves as a deterrent.
Which leaves the question: if we punish Obama for not trying Wall Street (and probably failing giving the standard of proof) by handing over power to the likes of [[Eric Cantor]] — whose investments are poised to collect in the event of the failure of U.S. Treasury Bonds — and the Tea Party, does it make any sense? Is Wall Street going to be better controlled or allowed to run even more rampant? Evidence suggests that Obama is being blamed for another Bush transgression. If we turn him out, we will return to the merry, malevolent chaos of the Bush years. My advice is not to buy the line of certain Tea Party-friendly progressives and vote to reelect our president. Even Lincoln and Jimmy Carter were misapprehended in their times. Let’s not allow the mistakes of 1980, 2000, and 2010 to repeat themselves because we don’t understand the law.
Dream
Posted on June 26, 2011 in Dreams
I am in [[Craters of the Moon National Monument]] ((Which I have never visited)). Lynn and I have become separated while hiking, so I go back to the car. I drive to the entrance where I explain to the rangers that I have lost my wife and am looking for her. I drop by a church where they have fashioned statues of martyrs out of lava rock. The landscape is green and I splash through flooded rivers. (Do I find Lynn?) I arrive at the farthest parking lot in the park where I get out of the car and begin hiking towards part of the monument which used to be a nuclear testing ground. I tell my companions that they had allowed a nuclear reactor to meltdown ((True.)) and that I was not going past a certain canyon so that I would not be exposed to radiation. I follow the trail to the point of a hill. I find myself looking down an extremely steep trail and scream as I slide down it.
Insert a Trite Metaphor for a Corral #103
Posted on June 26, 2011 in Roundup
You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again. – Bonnie Prudden
Same sex marriage. I think the main reason why churches are losing it over the legalization of same sex marriage is that, now, by refusing to perform them they look bad. The congregations that they have steadily built and milked for tithes may be fine with the policies at the present, but eventually the population is going to shift and they won’t be filling the pews like they used to. Gay couples and folks like me and my wife who do not feel our marriage is reduced by same sex marriage will seek other venues. The numbers will be small at first, but as time passes they will grow and the mega-churches will feel the crunch if they don’t adjust.
We gave some thought to not marrying until gay and lesbian couples could do the same, but in 1988, we knew it was going to be a long wait. In the intervening years, our marriage of intense comradeship has been devalued by those who insist that marriage is for procreation. Nonetheless, we have stayed the course and remained committed to each other through financial difficulty and my mental illness. I would call that a real marriage, though I wonder each day why Lynn puts up with me.
I want to state that I agree with President Obama’s assessment: Same sex marriage needs to be taken up as a state issue. This won’t result in a broad stroke of change that many earnestly require for their political excitability, but it does remind us of where the roots of our activism must direct themselves. It is the local governments who are screwing us up. Witness Wisconsin, North Carolina, and Michigan for three. Staying at home in 2010 has meant granting power to a downright evil cluster of organizations. They now control the reins for 2012. We will have to fight harder to defeat them as they try to put the fix in.
- Eric Cantor’s financial disclosures reveal that he bets against U.S. Treasury bonds. — None dare call it treason, but corruption will work just as well. It sure ain’t patriotism!
- My life as a undocumented immigrant — A Pulitzer Prize winning reporter reveals his secret
- How conservatism lost touch with reality — Is Obama the worst president for business? Hardly. Richard Nixon has him beat by miles but you won’t hear the Chamber of Commerce admit that. Also see this article about Mitt Romney’s supposedly unemployed poster boy. And read this about how Germany is neither conservative nor liberal, but both.
- Companies push for Tax Break on Foreign Cash — Did any of it go to jobs or research the last time? Nope. Also see this gem from the Wall Street Journal of all places about how the GOP depends on perpetrating the myth that spending kills jobs.
- Google’s antitrust defense sounds like Microsoft’s — So the main issue seems to be that Google gives its services away for free. So does Yahoo. Um, I don’t see the problem from the consumer standpoint.
- Christian Dominionism or “Welcome to the Theocratic States of America” — A truly anti-Christian movement inside America today. Very dangerous.
- Epidemiologists reveal that black men in America have a better survival rate in prison than outside — Is this surprising to you? It sickens me.
- In-Stream Ads Are Coming To Twitter, Will A User Revolt Follow? — I withhold my opinion until I see the implementation.
- INCOMING! Asteroid to Narrowly Miss Earth on Monday — Wow! 8,000 miles? That’s close!
- Corporal Punishment: Mothers’ Self-Recorded Audio Gives Unique Real-Time View of Spanking — And even with the evidence right in front of them, these abusers continue to insist that it is the right way to bring up a child.
- Shock and recall: Negative emotion may enhance memory — Yes, there is nothing like a baseball bat directed at oneself to engrave a mood on one for life
Personal Choice, Charity, and a Cardboard Box
Posted on June 23, 2011 in Compassion Insurance
I don’t like mentioning this, but Lynn and I came to a decision some years ago. We could get by on her then much lower salary and insurance so we decided not to seek state disability, SSI, or Medicaid to cover my personal and medical expenses. There was no “I won’t take anything from the government because the government is evil” motive behind this. We both hold that the government offers the best and fairest way to provide health insurance to those who need it. ((Yes, we like the idea of single payer health insurance. It would eliminate a lot of infighting. Private insurance companies could still offer supplemental packages like they do in Canada.)) This idea that “I want people to get health care unless they happen to be black or have schizophrenia” strikes us as wicked. We want people to have health care, period.
It has always been hard for some people who truly need health insurance to get on Medicaid. There are also limits in the amounts that this government is willing to provide and that amount is getting smaller. Because we recognize that there are others who do not enjoy our relative affluence, we have chosen not to take advantage of the system even when, in poorer days, we could.
I know for a fact that there are reactionary Republicans who depend on the system, who manipulate their finances so that they can enjoy these entitlements. I know for a fact that there are followers of Ayn Rand who milk the government for all they can get. Paul Ryan — who now calls for abolishing Medicare and Social Security — got his education by saving the Social Security checks he received after his father’s death. We’re liberal-progressives and because we see the picture beyond ourselves, we choose to act in a way that supports the greater good. We cannot in good conscience act like these or support their hypocritical politics.
I cannot do otherwise because I know the faces of those who are in worse straits than me. If we abolish Medicaid as this wastrel Republican Congress proposes, I see many of these ending up on the streets. There have always been promises to help the mentally ill and other disabled, but no one ever comes through on these. The Republican plan for the mentally ill seems to be as it always has been: a cardboard box over a heating vent. The Tea Party and the rest of the GOP cry about “forced charity” but say nothing about “forced war-making” or “forced subsidies”. That they have zeroed in on charity betrays their essential lack of compassion. These are not Christians, but the antithesis.
Vote them out of office.
Dream
Posted on June 23, 2011 in Dreams
I’m riding with a crew of explorers (?) when someone either takes my horse or it dies. My fellows ride off without me, but I spy a wild horse in the brush and go to catch it. These are odd horses — more like lithe hippopotamuses with donkey fur all over their bodies. I catch one just as a pack of bandits arrives. I am brought before the bandit leader who is wearing an old Napoleonic officer’s uniform. I tell him that I know how he can make more horses without having to go out and catch them all the time: it is called animal husbandry. The leader is surprised and grateful for the secret: he gives me two horses and lets me go. My former comrades are amazed at my cunning.
Insert a Trite Metaphor for a Corral #102
Posted on June 19, 2011 in Roundup
Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours. John Locke
The censored word. Can you say it? It’s quite simple and it sends Republicans screaming when you do, but the Democrats have yet to learn the power of this [[Aconitum|wolfsbane]]. Progressives and some liberals have been dragged into believing that the key word is “penis” or “Vitter” or “immorality”. But as Bill Clinton knew back in the early nineties, the word is jobs.
“Have you noticed that every time Mr. Boehner gets in front of camera of late he says jobs jobs like it’s a unknown language” tweeter MAK7591 said to me while I was writing this. Indeed. Jobs are an unknown language to a party which has overseen the doubling of the American economy without a single penny of it trickling down to the likes of you and me. If your salary had grown at the same rate as the economy, you would be making twice what you are making now. But the [[Voodoo Economics]] of the reactionaries has prevented most of us from sharing in the boom. It’s a bonanza for them, a desert for us.
The Democrats’ meme needs to be “We’ve been trying to fix the economy, but the Republicans keep trying to break it.”
“Jobs” is the Democrats’ key to victory. At every turn, they need to heckle the GOP with “Where are the jobs?” (Or “jobs jobs” if Boehner has a hearing defect.) The Republicans promised jobs, but instead they are using the moment to destroy the common good so they and their puppet-masters can make a buck.
Where are the jobs jobs jobs, Mr. Boehner? And keep your hands off Social Security, Medicare, the National Parks, and everything else we have built as a country together.
- Reimagining Capitalism: Bold Ideas for a New Economy — My nominee for most important article of the week. Capitalism used to be meant to do the public some good. Now it has transmogrified into a Koch-sucking beast.
- How to Turn Republicans and Democrats Into Americans — The other spectacular article of the week worth your reading. You might not agree with him on the solutions, but he is dead on about the problems.
- RNC chair struggles to defend double standard — Yes, again the Democrats show that they clear out their own. And what about Mr. Vitter and Mr. Thomas? Status quo. Also check out this article on greater immoralities than sex
- Mitt Romney — Net Worth Over $200 Million — Tells Unemployed People ‘I’m Also Unemployed’ — But I made my millions making other people unemployed! Then there is this one about whether Michelle Bachmann really did “raise” 23 foster children or not.
- Afghanistan is most dangerous country for women — A list of places not to live if you love your wife and daughters. Also: Think every man in Saudi Arabia likes the fact that women can’t drive? Think again.
- Life Expectancy in Most US Counties Falls Behind World’s Healthiest Nations — Least bang for the buck in health care spending.
- The Incredible Shrinking American Vacation — Workaholicism is a disease that kills us and erodes the economy.
- Why Hair Turns Gray: Communication Between Hair Follicles and Melanocyte Stem Cells Key to Mystery — Now that this is solved, can someone tell me why my beard is nearly white but my hair is still darkish?
- Comet Hartley 2 in Hyperactive Class of Its Own: CO2 Jets Confirmed, New Insight Into Composition, ‘Excited’ Rotation — Check out the closeup of the comet head – a barbell of a rock!
- When Wives Don’t Sleep, Marriage Suffers|Researchers: When Marriage Is Happier, Husbands Sleep Less — Anyone care to draw a parallel to manic episodes?
- Antidepressants and Addiction, Dependence – Talkback — A detailed defense of anti-depressants. How does one person believe in so many myths and still work in a mental health agency?
On Fake Lesbians and Online Games: Personal Experience
Posted on June 14, 2011 in Gender Internet Privacy IRC/Chat Sexuality
The news that at least two prominent net lesbians were men left me only a little bit surprised. As a gamemaster on a MUSH ((Multi-user Shared Hallucination)) I was familiar with the practice. Some men liked crossing genders. When they did it, many of them chose to be lesbians. How secretive they managed to be varied. We knew of several “online lesbians” who went on the prowl for women. It was always a tremendous laugh for us when two of these found each other and engaged in rapacious cybersex, fully believing that they had found a female target for their lust.
There there was the gamemaster of another [[MUSH]] broke up with her boyfriend and accepted the offer of a female friend to come to her home to console her. When the friend arrived, she discovered she was a he. This encounter did not go well.
At one point, I ran a character who was a [[cross-dresser]]. There was a thrill in playing the female role while still being a male. I got to experiment with various female behaviors and dresses. There was the thrill of being chased and yet not surrendering. When my secret got out — as I knew and planned that it would — reactions were mixed ranging from outright hostility to hilarity, mostly the latter. Still, the hurt of those who had lusted after my character (“she” was chaste unlike most characters in this particular venue and meant as a commentary on the faux lesbians) was profound and I decided never to do this again.
“Lindsay Eustace” as I named my character ((Yes, after [[The Eustace Diamonds]])) was not destined to be [[Andrej Pejic]].
Roleplaying games allow us to be people we are not. The timid and lanky geek becomes the brave and massive warrior. The plain girl becomes the busty supermodel wizard. People cross the lines all of the time, but in the old days they were sitting around a table and everyone could see who was holding the mask. In this brave new world, you can’t see who is behind the mask. That may be almost OK in online gaming (as long as you keep the sex out of play) but what happens when the chameleon abilities of the game are brought to the real world as happened with Gay Girl in Syria and Paula Brooks of Lez Get Real?
You get many like those who didn’t find my gender changer funny with next to no one finding it funny.
My friend Lezzymom spoke of how extreme “Paula Brooks'” lie had become. At one point, “Brooks” asked her to watch the site over the weekend so she could spread the ashes of her dead lover over the Outer Banks. When confronted with the truth, all Lezzymom could say about her hurt was “What a joy to look back and see all the lying.”
So why did 58 year old Bill Graber do it? We can only speculate. Perhaps he had a real commitment to LGBT rights and felt the only way he could participate was to assume this identity. Perhaps he was a former MUSH inhabitant who missed the old days, couldn’t afford [[Second Life]], and created a new character out on the web. Perhaps he got off on being a lesbian. Perhaps he was conducting an experiment in fiction. Or perhaps he craved the attention that most men who blog don’t get.
From Day One of this blog, I have sought to be myself. ((It would take too much effort to be this guy.)) If there is any revelation to be made, it is that I am really the guy who you read about on the About page. I know many men are frustrated by the relative lack of attention paid to their blogs — some women are, too. This is a serious issue, I think. There is a double standard for confessional blogs: in my experience, women do tend to attract more sympathy when they speak of their problems. This suggests that we need to labor towards more inclusiveness on the whole when it comes to blogging, to stop to leave a comment to let the person know that we have acknowleged their labor and their life. But the lack of this does not justify outright lying about who you are in the real world where there are not supposed to be any masks.
UPDATE 6/18/2011: Lezzymom tells of a conversation she had with Bill Graber, author of “Paula Brooks”. Graber appears to have thought of himself as a kind of blog auteur, inventing his character as he went about four days in advance of publication.
Reflecting on Graber’s dead lover, she writes:
To use this death to essentially gain more readers for the blog. It was all about the blog. It seemed that anyone could be sacrificed or hurt to move the blog forward. I was a fairly new writer for the blog when this happened so I wasn’t as emotionally wrapped up in it as the others. But to hear him talk about using it simply to promote on the survivor blogs really showed me a new reality. There were no boundaries to who could be hurt.
I agree with Lezzymom: what Graber did is an insult to all of us who survived — be it a death, an illness, a mental breakdown, abuse, a suicide attempt. How can we who live what is real hope to compete and get the truth out there for others to see when there exist those who will make anything up just to draw in more readers for their fictions?
Will he sell his story? is my next question.
The Man Wearing Paisley and Denim
Posted on June 13, 2011 in Civic Responsibility Class Eating Insurance Psychosis
He came in wrapped in blue and yellow cotton paisley cloth around his chest and over his head, faded denims around his legs. He carried a pink paisley bag. Sat down near us. When Lynn said something to me, he said “You can stop talking now.” He got up and moved to the table behind us.
“Are you all right?” I asked him.
“I’m fine,” he said. The waitress took his order from the senior menu. Lynn started telling me about an article she had read about Weinergate.
“You can stop talking now!” he said as Lynn continued her story.
Our food arrived. I heard him drop a salt shaker on the table. “You can stop talking now.”
“Can we move?” I asked the waitress. She showed us to a table on the opposite side of the restaurant.
The man stood up after she went into the kitchen, grabbed his bag, and rushed from the cafe.
I could not but think that if the Republicans get their way, there will be more like him. He might be unwilling to take his meds. But what about those who do take their meds and won’t be able to afford them when Medicaid is wrecked? What will they say when the streets are filled with such people?
What have they said in all the years since they first closed down the asylums? What have they done to create the infrastructure to support these people?
It saves a few hundred dollars to not give people like the man in paisley the medications they need. It wrecks thousands of lives to save those dollars.
