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Category: Spirituality and Being

An Agnostic’s God

Posted on December 27, 2007 in Agnosticism

square438So many of my friends are in perilous places. I wrote this to one who is currently seeking a church that will fill her emptiness, give her a jolt of divine splendor. Maybe others need to read these words, too:

I fought God for many years, toying with the idea of a divorce, a renunciation of divine being. In the end, it was when I was in partial hospitalization and listened to the testimonies of patients who had been in the pit three or more times, yet still insisting that prayer and daily devotion helped them through, that I made the decision — as my therapist puts it — to let God off the hook. I chose to live as an agnostic (atheism seems so mean) and make my first order of the day being a good person.

I think understanding for yourself what God is helps. I realized that if there is any God that makes sense to me, it is the God of the Book of Job. Not the nasty bugger who makes a bet that unravels Job’s life, but the God of the last chapters who speaks to Job out of the chaos of the whirlwind. This is the God who is the Universe, who is forever busy moving stars around, causing asteroids to fall on planets as meteors, blowing up winds like the one that robbed me of one of my deck chairs on Christmas Day. And this God, I realized, doesn’t have it in for you, doesn’t put burdens on you for the sake of testing you. Things just happen and sometimes they happen to good people like us. There’s no malice in it. Just the spinning of the Universe.

We can get to desiring vision like we desire a fix or a drink. We can be addicts to ecstatic experience. I’ve found my best happiness in just being like a monk — going about my affairs, keeping each moment clear. You don’t have to live in a monastery to be like this.

If there is any part of traditional prayer that makes complete sense to me it is the four words from the Lord’s Prayer “thy will be done”. Things will happen. They won’t blow you away like a storm, cause you to shudder from head to toe with the blue electricity of communion with the divine. They will, however, refocus you on what before all else is important: be a good person and don’t waste energy or spirit trying to move the world in your direction.

[tags]agnosticism, God, belief, Christianity, Judaism, Book of Job, Job, atheism[/tags]

Wise Divides, Foolish Unities

Posted on December 20, 2007 in Agnosticism Folly Watch Morals & Ethics Secularism

Atheists have a hard time fathoming Christian division. When it suits them, they ignore it to cast blame on every Christian for every dastardly deed done by the Fundamentalist Right.

Bipolar or Just Spoiled?

Posted on December 16, 2007 in Bipolar Disorder Morals & Ethics Psycho-bunk

`Oh, don’t bother me,’ said the Duchess; `I never could abide figures!’ And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:

`Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.’
CHORUS.
(In which the cook and the baby joined):–
`Wow! wow! wow!’

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:–

`I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!’
CHORUS.
`Wow! wow! wow!’

square430 Columnist John Rosemond thinks he knows what is best for toddlers and that is the rod. If his children have not yet escaped him, Rosemond may well be a good candidate for a Social Services intervention because he believes that there is no such thing as “Early Onset Bipolar Disorder”, just spoiled kids.

Especially intriguing is the Papolos’ list of “very common” symptoms for EOBD, including separation anxiety, tantrums, defiance, hyperactivity, inattentiveness and mood swings. Those “symptoms” will be familiar to anyone who has lived with a toddler.

Seemingly, the Papoloses would have us believe that behaviors associated with toddlerhood are actually manifestations of a disease that should be treated with drugs that have pronounced negative side effects (e.g., nausea, diarrhea, severe drowsiness, significant weight gain) as soon in the child’s life as possible….

In nearly every case (I actually know of no exceptions), these kids were cured of their criminal tendencies in short order by parents who did not suffer this abuse, parents who administered not drugs but quite old-fashioned discipline.

Rosemond runs his own little website called “Traditional Parenting” and you know what that is all about. His thought for the day (December 16, 2007) states:

Parental authority must be clearly established before the full potential for affection within the parent-child relationship can be released. Unresolved disciplinary issues create stress in a family. Resolve them, and relationships will be more relaxed.

Rosemond has attracted his critics including Cambridge Center for the Behavioral Sciences writer W. Joseph Wyatt. Wyatt at first admired Rosemond, but then noticed a troubling tendency on Rosemond’s part to romanticize “Grandma’s” use of the wooden spoon and worse implements as well as a decided obstinance when it came to recognizing the value of current research on child-rearing. A choice example:

a parent wrote to Rosemond that her 12-year-old son was generally unmotivated to do schoolwork. Restrictions had not worked. The parents had attempted none of the frequently effective positive strategies such as allowing the boy to earn points toward a desired item or activity by doing good schoolwork. Rosemond, after suggesting that medication might help, seemed out of ideas. He could only suggest to the parents that they stay the course, that they resign themselves to continuing the same efforts that had already been tried and had failed. He advised the parents to “…remember what Grandma said: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” I’ll take a guess that the boy’s parents were disappointed with that advice.

A real whopper that Wyatt discovers is Rosemond’s theory about what causes ADHD:

What is Rosemond’s theory of its cause? It is the “flicker” of the TV screen which he contends (in the absence of any research evidence) “…compromises the brain’s ability to properly develop the structures necessary to a long attention span.” He deduced this “fact” after recalling the decade of the 1950s, when fewer people had TV and nobody was diagnosed with ADHD. This is absurd.

I agree that TV has had detrimental effects on child behavior. But the “flicker” isn’t the reason. Hasn’t Rosemond heard of the accumulating research on the influences of violent role models as seen by children on TV? And how would he explain away the 95% of children who are neither inattentive nor overly active? They watch TV too.

Rosemond is against positive reinforcement of good behavior. I find it terribly bemusing that he thinks paying children for doing basic chores such as weeding, mowing the lawn, etc. amount to teaching them that something can be had for nothing! Rosemond does not want to consider that the reverse is true: that when, for example, parents expect children to tend gardens that they have set up for their own pleasure — not the child’s — they are expecting something for nothing!

But let’s go back to the original point of the article. Is this kind of behavior just “normal toddlerhood”?

it’s hard to believe that at age 3, life with Leo was a living hell. His behavior was so bad that day care was not an option.

“The shortest time on record at day care was three hours before they called me and asked me to pick him up and said he would not be welcome back,” says his mother Kristen Massman.

Massman couldn’t understand why her son was so miserable.

“He would break furniture, hit his head against the wall continuously,” she recalls. “He would destroy his bedroom.

“I just did not enjoy being a mother.”

Leo was misdiagnosed with ADHD, which was a disaster as you might imagine.

His doctor [Papolos] believes stimulants caused Leo to spiral out of control, culminating in a horrifying crisis point.

“I was bringing him home from school. I opened the back door to help him out and he just took off and threw himself in front of an oncoming car,” says his mother.

“I remember sitting in the grass and holding him and saying “Why are you doing this? I don’t understood what’s wrong with you.'”

Leo is now on lithium, a mood stabilizer.

“I take these two in the afternoon, (and) all three of these in the morning,” says Leo, showing his pills.

“Keeping him happy now is much more important and could potentially prolong, you know, his life rather than losing him,” says Massman.

His life has turned around. His mother says all because of a clear diagnosis – one many doctors are reluctant to make. But for her and her son it was a lifesaver.

“It feels wonderful. I enjoy him now. I love being a mother. I love being his mother,” says Massman.

Just how many beatings would it take to bring this child into line with Rosemond’s program? I think we have here a non-medically trained pop psychologist who sees his turf being threatened by the new revolutions in medicine. Rosemond is not a Scientologist, but the new-fangled medical model of behavior threatens to take him out of the picture. If we can treat the problems with a pill and make the Leos of this world into happy children, what is there for Rosemond to do?

Rosemond is evidence of the terrible legacy of late nineteenth century Bible salesmen. Ignoring Jesus’s generous reaching out to youngsters when he was tired and Paul’s injunction against “scolding your children lest they lose heart”, he’s dug deep into the Book of Proverbs for his parenting counsel. “This is the only book you’ll ever need,” the Bible salesmen inveighed as they went from door to door. “This book has the answer for everything.” If you don’t like the answers from the real world, just open the leaves of the black book. And if you don’t like what Jesus and Paul have to say, just turn the pages until you find something you do like. That’s the root of the Fundamentalist Heresy which took hold of the popular Christian imagination in the course of the Twentieth Century. And in this age of careful research into the nature of the maturing of human beings, it is becoming the only source for the claims of loose cannons with leatherette-bound hearts.


Further Reading

  • Is Spanking OK? — Rosemond makes it so by saying that existing studies are questionable. Apparently, you can ask any question and the mere asking defeats whatever the findings are. What follows is a variation on the “God of the gaps” argument which Fundamentalists love to employ. You claim to defeat the arguments for nonspanking approaches simply by doubting them and then say “the only thing left over is to spank”.
  • Papolos: The Bipolar Child – I cannot say that I possess full confidence about this book having not read it, but seeing who is against it earns a recommendation here.
  • A recent study shows that close relationships with parents — where there is no fear on the part of the child in expressing her/his views, etc. — means a more independent young adult. Can such a child arise in a Rosemond household? Dare he subject his methodology to statistical investigation? Or will he cry that the deck is stacked?

[tags]morals, ethics, childcare, atheism, agnosticism, psychiatry, psychology, mental illness, bipolar, bipolar disorder, morals and ethics, psych-bunk, fundamentalism, biblidolotry[/tags]

In related news, check out how a bipolar man who also happened to be an observant Baptist fobbed himself off as a converted atheist; see how Fundie ministries exploited him.

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Punch and Judy in Belief/Nonbelief

Posted on November 30, 2007 in Agnosticism Spirituality and Being

Check out this thoughtful sermon on the modernist Punch and Judy Show.

Perhaps the literalism that gave rise to the Scientific Revolution is also the sire of Fundamentalism. No one trusts metaphor or understands it.

[tags]atheism, agnosticism, fundamentalism, Christianity[/tags]

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Lov Ain’t Jesus

Posted on November 29, 2007 in Agnosticism Social Media

square416Regular readers know how this agnostic likes to tweak the noses of atheists. I want it to go on record that I do not condone attacks on atheists or any other group of believers that either do them physical harm or prevent them from expressing their point of view. Such an attack happened on Myspace recently when the atheists/agnostics group run by Bryan Pesta was hacked and renamed “Jesus is lov”:

jesusislov.JPG

The 3000 “friends” of the group are gone.

The regular posters on the group’s message board have been banned.

Many discussion threads were deleted.

I can’t even access the renamed group.

Bryan is working on getting his group back, but things aren’t looking bright.
He told me he was having difficult getting customer service at MySpace to listen to him.

First, I want to state that I am not sure that “Christian” terrorists are to blame here, though it wouldn’t surprise me either. This seems like an adolescent prank. I don’t think you will find any minister or even a person who attends church regularly on Sunday. On the other hand, Christianity is full of self-appointed “ministers of the Gospel” who think it is their duty to silence all opposition/criticism. We need more facts.

Second, this could be a troll. Trolling is specifically designed to get people fighting and from the looks of things at Friendly Atheist, the war has begun in earnest. Atheists are taking the bait and the perpetrator is no doubt laughing histrionically. Classically terrorism is calculated to inspire fear. Even though the damage is relatively small as far as impact on their daily lives, atheists/agnostics are looking over their shoulders, wondering if the next step is going to be a physical attack on their computers or themselves. A troll is a special kind of terrorism: the object is to inspire the kind of fear that causes the victim to lash out blindly. “Damn those Christians! Let’s get ’em!”

Third, a classic net issue has arisen, namely getting people at Myspace to do something. At FA I said that this was probably due to “a bunch of second-rate techies who like to sit on their asses not solving problems”. Oh, they say, we’ll have to go down and find the tape backup. Then we’ll have to close down Myspace while we restore the group. Ya-de-dah-de-dah. The response to this is “There are 34,000 people affected by this. Do it.” It’s like not rebuilding the World Trade Center or not flying after the 9-11 attacks. When you allow a terrorist’s works to stand and the terrorist to go unpunished (oh where oh where has Bin Laden gone?), you encourage further acts of terrorism.

Fourth, We should not rule out the possibility that this was done by an atheist/agnostic who wanted to inspire a jihad of his own. Small chance, but it points to the importance of not charging ahead without more facts. Stick to what is known. The focus should be on restoring the group. That means getting Myspace moving on repairing the problem.

[tags]atheism, agnosticism, Myspace, hacking, terrorism, Christianity, net wars, jesus is lov[/tags]

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The Teddy Bear and Peyote

Posted on November 28, 2007 in Morals & Ethics Strange

Courts should not be in the business of deciding which beliefs are genuine and which are frauds

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An Agnostic Critique

Posted on November 25, 2007 in Agnosticism

Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto
I am a man; nothing that relates to humanity do I deem alien to me. – Terence

square412Hemant put up a link to an interesting set of propositions governing “non-belief”. As usually happens, I was impressed by the good intentions but poor thinking-out in some particulars. I had to laugh, for example, at #12, “Do not denigrate believers” because the URL of the site is www.nobrainer.me.uk. Yeah, we’re not putting down anyone who doesn’t think like we think here are we?

I will state that when not otherwise expressed here, you can say that I have little or no problem with most of the propositions put forth. (Even my Christian wife said she had little problem with most of them.) But having just had a bizarre conversation with an atheist who tried to convince me that Jesus was imaginary (don’t start) has put me into a little bit of a feisty mood. For a start, look at #3:

Do not accept the intellectual and moral authority of believers or belief systems.

This statement leads to internal contradiction, especially when coupled with #14 which states “Do not confuse non-belief with immorality or an amoral state”. There’s a dogma afoot here, one which states that “we got the truth, so it ain’t belief”. Nice try. It’s the same dodge many religions use. As an agnostic, I believe that by the very limitedness of my all-too-human-senses I can’t be certain about what I might call those “higher absolutes”. Damn if I can tell you if there is a God or not. I don’t fault people who do and I don’t fault people who don’t. I will grant many of them — including the author of this tract — authority on moral questions because they have thought them through. What I don’t grant any of them is absolute authority which this author, oddly enough, seems to be grasping for.

#7 “Do not accept the ‘truth’ of religions, mysticism, or political philosophies” is also problematic for me. What does the author mean by “truth”? I think many religions — including a few that profess concepts — such as the inferiority of women — and prescribe practices — such as [[purdah]] — that I find rank — have takes on reality that are worth listening to. None of them — except perhaps mock religions such as the Flying Spaghetti Monster — is so unreal as to leave me unmoved. I think it takes a very cold heart indeed to read the Song of Solomon without feeling, at least, a mild state of ecstasy. To appreciate that work without acknowledging its concept of the erotic union of divine and mortal is naive. Does making it untrue make it worthless? Do we learn nothing about what it means to be human?

I don’t rush to trash all religious literature, all religious thought in my daily affairs.

#15 orders us “Do not search for a meaning to life.” I would temper this in the spirit of the first proposition, namely to rigorously test your beliefs against the world using the best findings of your time understanding that as a human creature you are limited and can not know all the truths of the Cosmos. If I were to state my principles or poles around which I align my thinking/feeling, I would include humility among them, which implies this sense of being limited by my being. It smacks of the old “earth-centered-heavens” when I hear an atheist going on about how we humans can arrive at final, fully-fleshed conclusions about the universe — when we are less than mites riding half a grain of sand in space. I say “do the best you can, but don’t expect to know everything.”

Why does this last point always seem so lacking when atheists try to explain what they think? I hear the dungy cow-bell clank of absolutism or, at best, naivite….

[tags]atheism, atheist, non-believer, nihilism, agnosticism, religion, faith, reality, belief, meaning[/tags]

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Saddleback Church

Posted on November 10, 2007 in Martyrdom Series The Orange

Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
A vocal duet with the band/orchestra accompanying.

And which part was like being in… er… the other place?
Finding a parking place.

I get in trouble when I write about Saddleback Church, so here’s the mystery worshipper’s report from Ship of Fools.

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The Ten Commonalities

Posted on November 8, 2007 in Agnosticism Spirituality and Being

Not much is happening in my life, but here’s a nice piece about the things Atheists and Christians have in common:

1. You Can Do Terrible Things in the Name of Either One

2. Both Sides Really Do Believe What They’re Saying

3. In Everyday Life, You’re Not That Different

4. There Are Good People on Both Sides

5. Your Point of View is Legitimately Offensive to Them

6. We Tend to Exaggerate About the Other Guy

7. We Tend to Exaggerate About Ourselves, Too

8. Focusing on Negative Examples Makes You Stupid

9. Both Sides Have Brought Good to the Table

10. You’ll Never Harass the Other Side Out of Existence

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It’s Not Funny

Posted on November 6, 2007 in Agnosticism Attitudes

How many radical Lesbian feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. And it’s not fun-ny.

A recent study conducted by male researcher finds that the joke is right. It’s not funny:

“Sexist humor is not simply benign amusement. It can affect men’s perceptions of their immediate social surroundings and allow them to feel comfortable with behavioral expressions of sexism without the fear of disapproval of their peers,” said Thomas E. Ford, a new faculty member in the psychology department at WCU. “Specifically, we propose that sexist humor acts as a ‘releaser’ of prejudice.”

In their research article*, Ford and the graduate student co-authors describe two research projects designed to test the theory that “disparagement humor” has negative social consequences and plays an important role in shaping social interaction.

“Our research demonstrates that exposure to sexist humor can create conditions that allow men – especially those who have antagonistic attitudes toward women – to express those attitudes in their behavior,” he said. “The acceptance of sexist humor leads men to believe that sexist behavior falls within the bounds of social acceptability.”

square405Undoubtably this behavior extends to other arenas such as this “inspirational posters” contest by Friendly Atheist. Ironically the people who say that religion breeds nothing but discord breed antagonism — the root of violent conflict — by these means. The same is true of Christians who make jokes about atheists and others. Etc. etc. etc.

It makes me think that I should have said something about the “towelheads” remark that I heard the other day. Except the guy was drunk and dangerous.


On a related note, andrea the serial deviant outlines her voluntary simplicity movement for blogging.

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Signposts for Humanism

Posted on October 28, 2007 in Agnosticism Compassion Folly Watch

square397The equalizing reality of the fires spreading across the wilderness in my neighborhood prevented me from keeping up with my science reading. As I panned over that net-landscape, two stories stood out as being very similar to each other and having something to say about the behaviors that I witnessed among those who chose to stay.

The first story told of a Duke University anthropologist who spoke of the need for magic as a tool for fending off the feelings of worthlessness and inequality:

People believe in magic for all sorts of reasons, Makhulu said, including the desire to accrue wealth or advance in life, but the belief also says something about a deep-seated human desire for equality.

“When people say they believe in magical forces, they believe in magic that can make the world equal and just in circumstances where it’s not,” Makhulu said. For some, “witchcraft is about recuperating what is ethical, just and moral.”

“We need enchantment in our lives because our world has become disenchanted,” Makhulu said. “We need faith that promises something bigger and better than what we have.”

Unfortunately, many skeptics will find in this more material to deride magical thinking and, by extension, the people who use it. What needs to be conveyed (as Paul Kurtz and others understand) is that the humanist movement considers equality central to its doctrine. And it must deliver, first by avoiding derision and second by educating. I have seen atheists, for example, say in one sentence that atheism does not stand for language which demeans others and then, in the next, crack a joke about religion. Barbs about intelligence are also frequent. This simply has to stop: the need that magic seeks to fill must be granted its own fulfillment within humanism (which is not the same as simple atheism or simple agnosticism). People must be made to feel that by joining the humanist movement that they have become brothers and sisters within a greater cosmos of belief.

Expect this story to be misunderstood and mischaracterized if it gets out to the world, both by skeptics and nonskeptics.


The second story examined “existential dread” or fear of death:

Psychologists Nathan DeWall of the University of Kentucky and Roy Baumeister of Florida State University ran three experiments to study existential dread in the laboratory. They prompted volunteers to think about what happens physically as they die and to imagine what it is like to be dead. It’s the experimental equivalent of losing a loved one and ruminating about dying as a result.

Once the volunteers were preoccupied with thoughts of death and dying, they completed a series of word tests, which have been designed to tap into unconscious emotions….

The volunteers who were preoccupied with thoughts of death were not at all morose if you tapped into their emotional brains. Indeed, the opposite: they were much more likely than control subjects to summon up positive emotional associations rather than neutral or negative ones. What this suggests, the psychologists say, is that the brain is involuntarily searching out and activating pleasant, positive information from the memory banks in order to help the brain cope with an incomprehensible threat.

This helps explain why my neighbors and I turned the watching of the fire into a party. And it can explain why martyrdom is such a turn-on for many people, why there are so many positive associations among believers in divinely inspired conscience. The question is do atheists and agnostics think of death much? If they do, what positive associations do they make? Or do they simply choose not to think about the inevitable?

I’m not going to attempt an examination here: that’s for someone else to describe. But if atheism and agnosticism do not offer some kind of positive answer for the person struggling with death then they will not gain in numbers by much. Boom! You’re dead! just doesn’t cut it even if it is true.


Here’s a woman who wants to put “In God We Trust” in every California city hall. If we do trust in God, why all the cruise missiles?

[tags]atheism, agnosticism, magic, skepticism, religion, spirituality, death[/tags]

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Prayer Wheels Spinning

Posted on October 17, 2007 in Morals & Ethics Peace

square378Let’s be real: the reason why Bush gave the Congressional Gold Medal to the Dalai Lama is that he knew the world would be flooded with the news of [[Al Gore]] winning the [[Nobel Peace Prize]]. Bush knows that there is no way in hell — aside from the invasion of Norway — that he will ever win any legitimate peace prize so he hopes that some of the Dalai Lama’s cachet will rub off on him in a difficult time.

The [[Dalai Lama]] kept to rather neutral remarks, of course. He did not attack the Bush regime’s war in Iraq for example, but concentrated his concerns on China which has occupied [[Tibet]] since 1952. His desire to make a stand for his people may have interfered with his perceived status as the international voice for Buddhists. (We should remember that his authority is no more universal than the Pope’s.) But then Buddhism — like primitive Christianity — is an existential religion: you alone are responsible for your salvation and peace of mind.

Bush’s prayer wheel must be spinning wildly now as he watches his place in history grow darker. In a generation or so, someone will write a vindication of this scoundrel administration, but what is more likely is placement in the pantheon of American villains, particularly as historians reexamine the 2000 and 2004 elections.

I am disappointed that the Dalai Lama allowed himself to become a tool for this man for no better reason than to gain a platform for Tibetan autonomy. I am disappointed that this award was not given out by Speaker of the House [[Nancy Pelosi]] because, after all, this is the Congressional Gold Medal and not the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Dubya had no place on that grandstand. The show belonged to someone else.

[tags]Buddhism, Dalai Lama, peace prize, awards, Tibet[/tags]

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