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Category: Grief

Fiona is Gone….

Posted on March 23, 2012 in Cats Grief

We put Fiona down at 5:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time.

She appeared to have pancreatitis and something that was damaging her liver in a big way. It was going to cost us $2000 to have a 50-50 chance of keeping her alive. We had already put down $2500.

I think the vet encouraged me because he did not want me to lose her in the middle of my wife’s cancer crisis.

I chose to stop trying. I feel bad.

Depression Finds References Everywhere

Posted on November 23, 2011 in Depression Grief

square776Sorry for my absence. I got word a few weeks ago that my mother had a [[glioblastoma]] growing in her head and had only a few weeks to live. Since then, I have been swinging from depression to mania and back again, with a day or two here and there where I feel neither condition. When I feel [[hypomanic]], I feel curiously happy though without reference to anything in the world. Depression, of course, finds references everywhere.

So I am waiting, scanning negatives, cleaning out boxes. I don’t know how much longer this will go on.

Atheist Psychiatrists and Good Medicine

Posted on September 3, 2007 in Agnosticism Depression Grief

square340A new study out of the University of Chicago reports that psychiatrists are likely to be the least religious type of doctor and that religious doctors, especially Protestants, are more likely to send a potentially ill patient to a clergyman or a religious counselor than to a psychiatrist.

The atheist world should be abuzz with concern and I, an agnostic, am one to join them. I have seen what religious counselling does to patients with mood disorders. I do not recommend them:

“A patient presents to you with continued deep grieving two months after the death of his wife. If you were to refer the patient, to which of the following would you prefer to refer first” (a psychiatrist or psychologist, a clergy member or religious counselor, a health care chaplain, or other).”

Overall, 56 percent of physicians indicated they would refer such a patient to a psychiatrist or psychologist, 25 percent to a clergy member or other religious counselor, 7 percent to a health care chaplain and 12 percent to someone else.

Although Protestant physicians were only half as likely to send the patient to a psychiatrist, Jewish physicians were more likely to do so. Least likely were highly religious Protestants who attended church at least twice a month and looked to God for guidance “a great deal or quite a lot.”

“Patients probably seek out, to some extent, physicians who share their views on life’s big questions,” Curlin said. That may be especially true in psychiatry, where communication is so essential. The mismatch in religious beliefs between psychiatrists and patients may make it difficult for patients suffering from emotional or personal problems to find physicians who share their fundamental belief systems.

Personally, I wonder about the doctors who avoid referring them: are they up to snuff on their medicine or are these backwoods GPs whose suspicions of modern medicine manifest in other ways in their practice? I have known people to give up their meds on the advice of a faith healer and consequently end up arrested after embarking on wild sprees. The problem is that many patients are looking for magical answers and when they are offered reality-based somatic therapy (replete with side effects) they balk.

Curlin seems to promote a model where the patient sets the therapy. While I do not believe in forced medication except where the patient is gravely impaired by her/his illness, I also feel that a wise patient works with the psychiatrist on a series of experiments designed to find an effective treatment for the illness. Religious talk therapy alone just does not work that well for severe depression and bipolar disorder. It’s practitioners are either woefully ignorant of what psychiatry can do or deliberately hostile lest they lose “souls” — translation: paying customers.

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Wrestling with Angels

Posted on August 9, 2006 in Grief Journals & Notebooks

You never know the nature of a person’s glue until they vanish

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Presence of an Absence

Posted on August 8, 2006 in Grief Milestones

I want to pick up the phone, dial her number, and say to her “What’s this death thing you’re on about? “

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Code Blue

Posted on December 1, 2005 in Compassion Grief Hope and Joy

What she said made no sense.

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Denos Gazis 1930 to 2004

Posted on August 8, 2004 in Grief Milestones

Lynn’s father passed away at about 3 am Eastern time last night after a seven year struggle with bone cancer.

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Tracy Comes Home

Posted on April 9, 2003 in Cats Grief Milestones

Tracy came home yesterday, via UPS.

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Tracy’s Bum

Posted on April 5, 2003 in Cats Grief

I’m not going to clean your bum!

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Crematory

Posted on April 3, 2003 in Cats Grief

“Oh, my poor baby!” I cried, as if she could still feel it. “I’m so sorry!”

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Thanks

Posted on April 3, 2003 in Cats Gratitude Grief

Thank you to everyone who responded so quickly to my news of Tracy’s death last night. And thank you to those who will offer their comfort.

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Tracy Tu Tu Wa Wa (1986 to 2003)

Posted on April 2, 2003 in Cats Grief Milestones

She died as I said, in my lap, crying only once, near the end.

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