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Month: July 2002

Just Another Day in the Spam Mail Box

Posted on July 27, 2002 in Mailbox

I remember the days when I could open my email box and find actual, personal messages ….

Parallels in the Same Universe

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Encounters

“What’s his rush? Or what right does he think he’s protecting?”

I’ve Done It Now

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Peace

I cry.

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Dream

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Dreams

I’m hiking in a national park, one by a large lake or the sea. I’m alone. The trail I’m on is much too rough for Lynn. I creep along the middle slope of a long cliff that is the color of Columbian coffee grounds. The going is by hand and foot. Trail conditions are uncertain. I get to a place where I can’t go any further. Two long fins of rock and deep crevasses block the path. It has taken me hours to get to this spot. A couple of guys come up behind me and grumble about the obstruction. I look around and see a rough path winding down the cooled magma to the canyon floor. There’s a park ranger, some 1000 feet or so down the hill from me. He waves. I scramble down to meet the ranger, arriving instantly. The ranger is out here to fix a chair lift. He can’t fix it because he needs a part. He waves again and leaves to get it. The two guys follow me as I begin to explore a deserted marina. The chair lift takes you across a strait to some islands. “This is Lake Powell,” I think. [But it’s not. The rocks should be red sandstone, not lava flows.] This marina is somewhere up the lake from park HQ. You can only reach it by water (in season) and trail. I go to stand at a point. One of the two guys makes a comment about Clinton. As I look across the water — from Arizona through Utah and into Nevada [impossible from my presumed point], a haze lifts. There’s a fabulous island out there, in Nevada, a place covered by trailers, neon signs, and casinos which are designated by clusters of multi-colored balloons. I’ve heard of this place, but I don’t give it a name. You get there by taking the chair lift or by approaching by automobile from the other side. There’s more than one island out there. I look across the water into the living room of a mobile home. It’s dark inside and the glass is further obscured by the reflection of the corner of a white wall that should be somewhere between me and the mobile home. But there’s only greenish water. I turn away, noticing a pair of bubble gum machines, one selling candy-coated peanuts for 20 cents a handful, the other something else — raw nuts I think — for 50 cents. I check my change and see that I only have pennies. The two fellows catch up to me. One tells me that he came here by the upper trail because his wives thought the exercise would be good for him. He comments again about Clinton and I realize that he isn’t a Clinton hater. I ask him where he is from and he gives me a name that sounds like “Keafton”. “That’s in Utah,” I guess. He confirms that it is. We walk back down the canyon to the park HQ. The trip by the levellower canyon trail takes much less time than the crawling along the cliff face did. We are all pleasantly surprised.

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Blog-a-thon Woes

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Misc

Blog-a-thon Woes

I wish I could sponsor someone for the Blogathan, but we are pinched thanks in part to three of my five chronic diseases getting the better of me this last spring. I’m feeling much better and being a very good boy now, but it makes me a little sad not to be able to participate as a sponsor for someone. (I’m leaving the chore of putting up a lot of topics to the younger folks.) If you plan on participating, feel free to comment here. Two that I know about are:

Lizzamayhem

Pulp Friction

Good luck! May these links bring you both lots of sponsors!

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Where the Writing Is

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Writing

I’m back to note taking. Spending time trying to understand the mind of the main character as he experiences a flashback.

I wonder how much other stuff that I read rubs off? My current novel is Them by Joyce Carol Oates. If it is having an effect, I think it’s making me desperate to write something funny. (God she is depressing! And anyone who believes in an America where little girls remained untouched until they were married needs to read that book. And the works of Herbert Asbury. The world of our ancestors wasn’t very nice. Kidnappers usually waited until girls reached an age when they could be prostituted, though. They enticed them with sweet talk and then delivered them to what they called a “bull pen” where the child was forcibly made into a small woman and introduced to what they called “the life”. So much for the good old days!) If I was reading something by Hardy, I would probably be rolling on the floor laughing at the stuff I scribbled.

I do much of my work at Tully’s, as readers know. People come in all the time and when I am not macheting my way through narrative text, I watch them and take notes.

The troubles with observing people in a coffee shop are many. I’m a shy fellow and usually talk to just the barristes. You can’t call out to the customers and say “Come on over here so I can get a good look at you. Could you remove your shirt/blouse and other garments so I can get an idea of your build? What are you thinking about? What have you been doing all day?” You have to move fast and discreetly. Sometimes I make an actual rough sketch — a few crossed lines in the margin. The fiction writer that I am must imagine them wearing different clothes and different personalities. I take memories and put them together as they never were.

I’ve picked up a couple of new bodies this way. One of them — the one I am most excited about — seemed to be a salesman making his pitch to a tiny blonde who wore nothing but tight black clothes and shoes. I could tell from the length of his back and the way he leaned into her that he was a giant. My notes read in part:

He wears a loose jonquil shirt with a V-neck collar, one side folding over the other. Pressed diluted olive slacks…..A long skinny face. His shirt looks tired. He keeps a pair of glasses in his pocket. Bites his upper lip when he’s listening [but] has a comment he wants to make….he wants to register his impatience but he’s letting her talk until she hesitates a second too long and then he interjects like a football running back finding a place through the defensive lines [or] a star forward making a break. He leans forward, let’s his words charge into his audience, through her defenses, into her brain. He gestures, clutches his fist, explodes his hands like they were star bursts. He probably runs. Maybe he played basketball. He makes the company look goo, healthy, able to survive the wrestling match, take the customer to the mat for the pin. SELL! That’s the spirit. SELL!….Put’s his glasses on. Eyes probe straight forward, rushing through the lenses to make the block, score the points, make the money. When he is thinking, he holds his pen and points it in the air like it was daydreaming….Holds his arms flat out, marking the dimensions of a box in which the deal can be placed. He pulls at [phantom] levers, stretches strings, waves the sales brochure. The hand goes to the master’s jaw as he stares right at the customer and yet relaxes — comfortable aggression. He’s making his point.

He’s got the look and feel of a character, but I don’t know how to use him.

My other find strikes me as either a stuck-up Christian or a schemer. He’s a bona fide block head in the shape of his head and the cut of his hair. His taste in clothes and the funky way he carries himself just call out for a demented juxtaposition. He comes to chat up the chubby blonde barriste. Every day. He made a special point to come by on his day off, which was Wednesday, when he knew she was working. He didn’t come yesterday. He knows her schedule, I think. She was talking to a coworker about how she wanted to become a mother by the age of 24. After she finishes college. I suppose he wants to be the man.

I’ve got a suit for him. Some clothes. And a job. I know what I am going to do with this one.

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Heat

Posted on July 26, 2002 in Weather

The breezes that moved the trees and cooled nothing on Wednesday have paused.

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Capillary Action

Posted on July 25, 2002 in Routine

If I’ve cleaned up right, reading this account will be the first the Empress learns of our new calamity.

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What is it?

Posted on July 25, 2002 in Whimsies

It’s a cactus. A trilobed form I bought a few weeks ago in the garden section of Home Depot. I went to unpot it so that I could put it in a bigger cup of Italian clay. It fell out of the potting soil. I took the soil out of the pot anyway and surrounded it with more soil, a special “cactus mix”, that I had bought. Then I placed the cactus on top, pushing it down slightly so that it would nest firmly. It had a single, twisted, woody root the color of a parsnip and no thicker than one of Lynn’s little fingers. I watered it with Miracle-Gro that day and every month since, on the first of the month. First it blossomed irregularly. The flowers were tiny white cups smeared with a little pink. They fell off. A few weeks passed. The red fruits that you see crowning the three pates appeared. Each is shaped like a tear-drop or a long pignola. When you crush them, they smell of strawberries. Because of the Miracle-Gro and because of my learning about the liver transplants that people who think they know their edible mushrooms when they don’t require, I’ve not eaten any.

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Paring It Down

Posted on July 24, 2002 in Misc

I’ve cut the length of this main page so that only the last three days appear. The rest are not lost. Find the links to my archive on the left hand side and read them there.

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Semi-Hallucination

Posted on July 24, 2002 in Depression Mania

This is how burnout feels.

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Ganesha Help Me Out!

Posted on July 24, 2002 in Words

Consider these phrases:

is – the certainty of possibility

could be – the uncertainty of possibility

could not be – the certainty of impossibility

How do we state the uncertainty of impossibility?

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