Change Revisited

Posted on April 22, 2004 in Blogging Hope and Joy

The sight of someone eating will not appease your hunger. The spiritual experiences of others cannot satisfy your yearning.

Sometimes it eases your pain to know that you aren’t alone. Other times it feels overwhelming and frustrating because you want to be alone, you don’t want these long slices going down the inside of your chest afflicting others. Change felt liberating when I wrote it, but by evening, I was looking at it and feeling unhappy because of all the sadness I became aware after I posted it. I ache for my friends, people who haven’t been — well, we’ve had our arguments, but Raven’s stuck with me and I’ve stuck with her. Friends like that are rare in this world. Brian, I don’t know what hurts you, but your need came through.

Other people have sometimes confided to me feelings of being overwhelmed by all the politicking going on between blogs, the thousands of comments that come down on a single blogger for an unpopular statement or stand, the partisan whiplashing that goes on in certain blogs comments or the not-so-veiled or brazenly naked attacks that some people use their blogs for. Their feeling: why am I doing this if people are so fucking petty?

None of us can hold back the tide of stupidity, but perhaps we could be the grunion coming to shore that make getting their feet wet worthwhile?

Change hurts because you have to say goodbye to many things you thought were dear. I just hope that blogging doesn’t become one of them for the friends who knew what I was talking about.