The West Nile Virus of Chronic Conditions

Posted on November 28, 2004 in Body Language

The little monster came back. He sneaked in the middle of the night causing me to scream as I desparately sought a position where I couldn’t feel the throb of his gnawing. I got through to the physician on call at 3 am and shortly had my hands on yet another medicine with a tendency to make me sleepy. By seven, the pain had subsided. I have a ten day cache which I intend to supplement with cherry juice and dried cherries. The little devil runs from such sweetness.

This pain is as bad as my worst toothaches. When you need a root canal, however, you can rise in the middle of the night and take a long walk. The stretching of the legs and the pounding of the soles takes your mind off your suffering. But you can’t do that with gout because the pain is in the agent of the comfort.

Gout is a disease whose fame outstrips its actual incidence. Only 840 out of 100,000 people suffers from it — less than one percent. It’s the West Nile Virus of chronic conditions, but its shiny bulges have fascinated physicians. Dieticians suggest that I avoid eating any meat, seafood, grains, or beans. A regimen of lettuce alone does not strike me as a sound basis for living, so I use the medications and drink cherry juice.