Lump 4

Posted on May 23, 2005 in Crosstalk Glands

If one person has it, everyone has to have it. Natalie who takes transcription from her alter-ego Blaugustine has discovered a parotid mass of her very own.

I had to present myself at the MaxilloFacial Unit of a hospital because I had asked my GP a few weeks ago what this hazelnut-size, smooth, invisible, painless little lump is doing under the skin of my cheek, next to my left ear. It’s been there at least a year, hasn’t changed, doesn’t show, doesn’t bother me. I just wanted to know what and why it is. After I mentioned “parotid mass” – a term I learned from Joel who recently had surgery for something similar – the GP turned to his computer screen and together we looked at a diagram, located the salivary gland (visits to a doctor nowadays can be like Googling together if you’re an information junky like me) and he said I needed to get tests done. Hence the Maxillofacial waiting room on Friday.

I’m setting my intense jealousy aside to wish her well in the coming weeks. Chances are if it has not been growing it is benign, Natalie. The initial tests don’t hurt (provided they numb you up). If you have it removed, keep the sutures clean and don’t be freaked out by the numbness in the ear.

A friend of mine who hadn’t seen me since the operation took the opportunity to pinch the lobe a few times. I couldn’t tell when she was actually jerking versus feinting. Some say that the ear is an erogenous zone. If so, I am a eunuch on the left. Natalie, it feels weird at first, but you get used to it. Good luck!