Mara Made Me Do It

Posted on June 10, 2005 in ADD Routine

Since my operation, a certain langour — an indolence — has locked me to a good book or one of my notebooks. I should be accomplishing other tasks such as the roundup (thank you Shelley), emailings for my poetry group, typing my poetry into the computer, etc. but I prefer this gentle sedentariness.

Today, I did not go out. I played a computer game. Four hours of computer game. Instead of doing the things I mentioned above and instead of writing an email to a friend wanting for friendly advice. In a way, I’ve been admiring the Buddha’s flower — oh hell, that’s just an excuse. Mara made me do it. I am just enjoying being lazy. Except reading and writing really aren’t lazy are they. In the one, you mine paper for knowledge and in the other you run it through a mental bessemer process to create objects of joy. The whole question comes down to this: how must I decide what needs to be done? Is play so bad that I should lock down the other computer so that I may concentrate on the long blank moments that fill the gaps between essays and poems?