Red Men by the Freeway

Posted on August 10, 2005 in The Orange

Until I came home to Southern California, I had never seen one. On my way home from driving my friend Leah to the Long Beach Airport (a story in itself), I spotted one dancing atop a Chrysler dealership next to the Garden Grove Freeway.

I must say that I am both apalled and fascinated by the pirouettes of the humanoid windsocks. This is what they look like: a stick figure made of red fabric tubes. Several strings — each about a foot long — stretch from the open-topped head. It has, of course, no brain. This is no trepaning job. The jazzercising figure never lived nor thought. Holding it to the roof are a pair of blowers fashioned to look like shoes. The rush of air through the machines — their roar lost in the noise of passing traffic — animates the puppet.

Because they all look alike, I am tired of them. The conspicuous and needless consumption of power bores me. This is Southern California, however, where the overinflated egos of ministers, car dealers, and computer retailers manifest themselves in such earthbound windsocks and blimps made in the shape of gorillas and gorillas and more gorillas.

Oh, for a needle to puncture the blimps and a pair of scissors to send the red men flying after the strings of helium balloons tethered to grocery store parking lots.

I think the problem for me is that the movement stimulates me into irritation. The idea, I suspect, is to stimulate passersby into buying a wretched product. One out of every hundred Americans suffers from bipolar disorder. This means that several people who could be disturbed by the sight of the figure pass by every minute. It strikes me as irresponsible marketing — like the flourescent lighting schemes at Walmart which are contrived to spur shoppers into purchasing frenzies.