Below the Belt, Above the Neck

Posted on August 8, 2005 in Crosstalk Reflections Sexuality

Alley Rat had an interesting pair of articles concerning the way that men destine themselves for a lonely old age because the media conditions them only to be attracted to the young. I find it true that many men lunge at a pretty young face regardless of their annuation. A sociobiologist might write this off as a mere attraction to breedable females, but I am not so certain. Perhaps it is because I am weird, but I look at women quite differently.

Oh, yes, I find Nicole Kidman attractive — when she’s been eating right and not starving herself into movie star proportions. And I talk to the young receptionists at the medical clinics I frequent. They’re pretty and they come in all shapes. But I can’t think of them as companions. They are of a different generation. Get them to talk about music, for example, and I am lost. It’s another world. I look upon them as I might look upon a daughter or upon the friend of a daughter, a younger person towards whom I am kind and encouraging. I laugh at a joke with them and then move on.

My friends these days are about my age. The women obsess about the wrinkles or their weight, but I don’t look at those things. The eyes, for one thing, appeal to me. The sound of their voice. The things they talk about. Our common interests. I don’t want to be a loner out in the world, selecting female friends who will only make me feel more isolated. I don’t want to be driven by the gap between my thighs. I want minds and I want friends.

To tell the truth, I’ve always been that way. Nothing bored or angered me more than to hear a crowd of boymen tell all about the night they’d had with Betty Sue. They’d press me for details and I would not tell. There were times when sex overwhelmed me (hell, I’m bipolar after all) but no relationship started if there was not an element of intellectual stimulation. Because we grow smarter as we age, I’ve found more and more women who meet my criteria. This makes me happier. When I was younger, I had to deal with men and women who just wanted to drink and be light. Now I find more and more tolerable candidates for affectionate (not necessarily sexual) bonds.

I’ve always been a freak but the older I get, the happier I feel about being one.