Boulders in the Wash Machine

Posted on January 4, 2006 in Compassion Mania

Someone asked on the DBSA bulletin board if we thought that being bipolar meant that we were more violent than normal people. I quickly pointed out that studies show we mentally ill are 12 times more likely to be the victims of violence than “other people”. At the same time, I conceded a penchant for acting in a histrionic manner. Like the Hulk, we might make sure that people were out of the way when we went on our rampages, but we sure could bring down the walls and beat ploughshares into bottlecaps.

Luminous made me laugh and sigh as she described the antics of her brother. She describes the illness as seen by an onlooker well:

Music Brother sees his medication as an important part of his daily life, and taking his meds is one of the few issues that he doesn’t argue with mom about. He says he can’t explain it, but he feels the difference in his mind from when he’s on meds and when he’s not. Mom can explain the difference – she knew that he was due for a med re-evaluation because he’s been acting out in ways that he hasn’t been acting for years. He lit his bedsheets on fire in November, “Because I can”, he said. “It won’t really hurt anything.”

In early December, he figured out how to reconfigure a nerf gun to shoot knives instead of its usual artillery of harmless foam pellets. His device was powerful enough to shoot knives into the ceiling and make them stick there, and he could stand at one end of the bedroom hallway and shoot a knife clear to the end of the last bedroom. He comes up with really fascinating ideas that I would never have thought of, but they often involve accidental destruction of property.

A few weeks into their participation in my support groups, newcomers often attest to such shenanigans. The group often laughs. And as we do, each of us puts his head in his hands and remembers the time when s/he tried to run a boulder through the wash machine.