Metaphor to Metaphor

Posted on March 12, 2006 in Mania Uncertainty

I had a raw, wholesome sleep, intervals of unconsciousness stacked atop one another like playing cards. Lynn slept upstairs because she had a cold: she didn’t want to give it to me and probably did not want to weather my usual restlessness. I may have had dreams; by morning, someone erased the cards so that I did not remember them.

Yesterday was a hard day. I faced over-sensitive people in the support group, especially a young man who reminded me too much of an earlier incarnation of the guy who I meet in the bathroom a few times each day. And I’d written a letter and given it to the president of the local DBSA chapter about events and attitudes in the one of the support groups I attend[ed?]:

The first confusion involves support group members using the court system to remove other members from the hospital. Twice, this support group has been the scene of such incidents. The first happened last summer when a sexual predator and probable sociopath removed a manic woman from the hospital. The second occurred last December when two members of the meeting removed a young man who had committed himself because of homicidal impulses. The young man’s psychiatrist did not wish to release him. Yet these two individuals persuaded a court to release the young man so he could get out in time for Christmas.

About five weeks later, the young man found himself locked up in the county jail on assault with a deadly weapon and lesser misdemeanors. The felony charge has been dropped. What concerns me is that because of the young man’s early removal, he found himself in jail, a dangerous situation for anyone, but especially for one so young and suffering from mental illness. It concerns me that neither of the participants in the release cares to take responsibility for their actions despite repeated inquiries….

What the board can do, I think, is educate members about the importance of not getting involved in other members’ treatment. We should not confuse support with codependency. Only the family and the psychiatrist should be involved in the patient’s care.

The second issue that drove me into sabbatical is the matter of noncompliant individuals and others using the group as a captive audience for their views….

Here are the problems I see with the incident and the “let anyone talk about anything they want” policy:

1. We come to meetings so that we can receive support for our care under a psychiatrist. We are explicitly not a club but a support group. When someone is allowed to bash psychiatrists, he effectively bashes those who are under a psychiatrist’s care. I, for one, take these polemics personally.
2. The attacks invite counter-attacks. This means that feedback becomes a place for argument rather than help and support. This undermines the feeling of safety which is essential to support group integrity. “If they attack X, then what will they say about me?”
3. Anti-psychiatric lectures induce confusion. What’s DBSA’s position? Take your meds or not? (I would sum my personal position to be that I promote compliance combined with cognitive therapy and informed self-advocacy.) I have seen a few people talk themselves out of taking medications in this group and I have not been impressed by the reasons. We shouldn’t be promoting or allowing individuals to promote paranoia about the psychiatric profession. Our job is to accurately inform and wisely succor. Facilitators must be trained to cut off such discussion without inviting debate. If the individual insists on politicizing the meeting, s/he should be asked to leave.
4. I wish to speak not only about the anti-psychiatry digressions, but also about sharings that promote religious dogma and “personal projects”. While many of these may be harmless, they tend to take the focus away from the group and onto an individual as savior of the group. Such grandiosity leads, I think, to the kind of behavior that I commented upon above. Individual dynamics take precedence over group needs and subvert our support objective.
5. Finally, these discussions waste time. When we could working together to give constructive feedback on an attendee’s problems, we members of the Tuesday night group find ourselves in cross-discussions. And people who could stand more attention, more feedback, are shorted.

It is said that those who control others do not wish themselves to be controlled. This is true of me. It is truer of those who derail our support group with their attacks on the psychiatric profession and their “liberations” of other group members. Their actions do not make the group a safe place.

That and more went to the hands of the president in a blue folder filled with eight additional copies of the letter for members of the board. After I released the letter into his hands and after uncomfortable incidents during the Saturday morning meeting (which does not have these problems), a sickness grabbed me, one that merited a whole Xanax. I retreated to my bed (I’d had only six hours of sleep) and clutched the blankets, uncertain and frightened that I was at the beginning of a rage.

Three additional hours of slumber calmed me somewhat. I still had issues, so I left messages for friends. Hid out. Scanned slides. Closed my eyes tightly until the darkness turned inside out. Then talked to a friend about the day. The bat-winged worries scattered, I slept, and in the morning I found new metaphors.