Queen of the Throwaway Comment

Posted on January 5, 2003 in Crosstalk

I meant this quite differently from the way blu took it: no, unlike some, she didn’t jump to offense and threaten violence against me. blu has suffered and wouldn’t wish what she went through on another human being.

Her application of the phrase to herself made me regret the bestowal of the title. It “seems appropriate in my throw away life. I cast off things and people quite easily,” she wrote a few days ago. The rest of her post strikes me as both defensive and wounded. Not by me, but by life in general. What I read there is the account of a human being tormented by a Universe which takes her as less than an accessory.

A feeling which many of us who have suffered depression and post-traumatic stress disorder have felt. I hope that blu finds someone who won’t give up on her when she tries to dismiss them from her life the next time round. It’s a beautiful thing to have and it’s the kind of thing I wish for any lonely friend.

In my feint at humor, I inspired pain. But I believe our friendship is all right. And I will try, as best I can, to be a friend who won’t give up on her. We’re both buddhas struggling to be.