A Letter from Svetlina

Posted on January 11, 2003 in Mailbox

I had to include this little gem in total. Poor Svetlina: nobody told her about the kind of guy who answered these ads:

Hello my name is Svetlina.

I live in Russia and I am looking to get out, as I have no future here.
I have no good work here, and for me, all the men here drink a lot
or do not treat women good.

I am looking for a man who works hard and is nice to be with me in all ways.
I am joining this internet club at our internet coffee house to
find a man who wants to meet a nice girl and I can be special for him.

Please sign-up, and look for my name online so that we can meet.
You can post an Ad for FREE and browse pictures of many nice Russian
Girls looking to come to America and meet a nice man, like myself.

I hope to meet you soon. Wish me luck.

A reply?:

Dear Svetlina:

First, I’m married and we don’t practice polygamy here in the United States. You are probably too old for adoption, so I can’t help you in that regard, either.

Second, America has its share of alcoholic men who don’t treat women well. Most of them can’t find American wives to suit them, so they apply to agencies specializing in arranging foreign nuptials. They like women who are docile and who will pick up after them, clean up the vomit when they puke, not mind that they look like wart hogs, and not report them to the police when they beat them. You might even end up with one of those wonders who feel that one of a wife’s obligations is to allow him to tie her up and pose for grotesque porno pictures. Some men just love every bit of freedom they can get here in the good old USA.

I suggest you just do what the smart American girls do and wait until a nice fellow comes along. You can cut the creep population by simply refusing to go out with them or marry them. Not finding a nice fellow is a common problem for free women the world over: those who wait and choose wisely succeed.

Or else you can try being a lesbian.

Sincerely,

Joel