Crazy Eileen

Posted on July 30, 2009 in Bipolar Disorder Culture Wars Paranoids

The hand shakes as it waves. “Call on me! Call on me!” When the congressmen gives her a chance, she spouts out a long derangement about how Obama is a citizen of Kenya and she screams that she wants “her country back”. There are cheers from the contingent who cannot yet accept the fact that they lost the 2008 election — one wonders what they would be claiming if Hillary Clinton were president instead. Representative Mike Castle(R) lets her have her moment — which includes the saying of the Pledge of Allegiance — then returns the talk to health care.

It’s a pity that we don’t see her face and we don’t hear the rest of the meeting. The Reactionary Right doesn’t want to talk about health care. Its goal is to obstruct discussion. So when the woman known as “Crazy Eileen” stands up, they cheer her. If only they knew who they were cheering.

“Eileen” styles herself as a psychic. She claims that aliens will reveal themselves in October and they will bring an age of peace for humankind that will last for 95 years at which time the planet will disintegrate. She also predicts that Hillary Clinton will become president.

I don’t know what to make of her, except she reminds me of the fellow I used to be when I had a mission. I saw conspiracies in many places and it was important to tell people about them. How rich was the life of the mind I led and how terrifying at times. Touching my phone filled me with trepidation at times because I knew that there were spies listening on the other end. They didn’t want to arrest me, merely torment me with their presence, steal my mind, make people think I was crazy when I really wasn’t.

The point I am making here is that my bipolar disoder had me firmly bound in paranoia. Leftists as well as rightists suffer from it. The other day, I spent about an hour on Twitter explaing what it felt like to be on mood stabilizers. I assured the person that I had not stopped being a peace activist because the meds changed my mind but because jumping into that kind of life served as a trigger for my illness. Peace activism wasn’t a crazy pursuit except for some of us who went too far. Obsession is always a problem, regardless of your politics.

If I were told that the woman they are calling “Crazy Eileen” suffered from a mood disorder, it would not surprise me. I’m told that plenty of sane people believe in birtherism as well as aliens and the possibility that Hillary Clinton will be president, but Eileen appears to be doing too much. Why does she hide from the cameras and decline interviews?

When I was crazy, I had mixed feelings about exposing myself. On one hand, the word had to get out. But I also felt that I was unusually sensitive and that putting myself before journalists too much would end with me having a meltdown. Even in my denial, I understood that all was not well. Could the same be true of “Eileen”?

There’s a huge stigma against mental illness. And there’s also pressure on people who turn into mouthpieces for political movements to avoid exploring that possibility. Already people have picked up on Eileen’s previous utterances to propose that she is a kook. The tragedy I feel is that she will now be less likely to seek help. She will not want to look bad in the face of her opponents. Her followers will not want her discredited.

The one who suffers is the mouthpiece. It takes a great deal of courage to end the charade that grandiosity thrusts us in. Eileen, I see myself in you. Don’t let your fears of people’s opinions prevent you from seeking relief. You won’t change your politics, just ground them better in reality. There’s no conspiracy out there keeping you in pain, just a confederacy of people who are more concerned with their own beliefs than your well-being. Choose the latter. Seek help.

This article provides information about Eileen and the birther movement.