Someone has to Speak for the Moles

Posted on March 31, 2003 in Creatures Crosstalk

Mary Beth did little grey gentlemen (and gentlewomen) the world over a disservice recently when she titled an article about latest evils being committed by the Republican House (against disabled children) “Whack one mole, up pops another”

I responded:

I just want to make a statement on behalf of moles, MB. They’re the good guys of the garden. They do two things for you: they eat insects that work a number on your grass and they aerate the soil for you. Unlike gophers, moles don’t destroy plants. When you see where a mole has rifted the ground, simply walk over it. He won’t be back.

I once lived with a guy who had a mole roll through. “I want to get the little bastard,” he kept saying as he stuck a pitchfork in the raised tunnels. “You’re not going to,” I said. “He’s moved on. And what harm has he done? The grass will grow greener.” He kept stabbing the ground and struck nothing. The mole never returned. And the grass where the mole had passed did grow greener.

Drown gophers, honor moles.