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Month: March 2007

Fat Cat?

Posted on March 22, 2007 in Cats

square232Fiona, my once diminuitive Fiona, has grown huge. Imagine the proportions of a [[Maine Coon Cat]] but on spindly legs and with short-hair encapsulating her body. Comparing her with [[Boadicea]] you would not think them sisters. The cat I chose heaves herself into my lap and presses herself against my stomach until I am about to retch from the weight.

I cannot say, for certain, if this is muscle or blubber. She gets around easily enough. When we serve catfood or spread catnip on the scratching box, she arrives in good time for her share. To what end does she grow and will I see her pass before her time? The answer is murmured softly and I cannot make out the consonants for the [[assonance]] of the vowels.

[tags]Cats[/tags]

Nifties

Posted on March 21, 2007 in Site News

Ah, a sense of history.

Two Films

Posted on March 21, 2007 in Film

square230G. made the most accurate pronouncement when I described the plotline of [[Mr._Jones_(film)|Mr. Jones]] to a group of bipolar friends after a 6 mile hike on Sunday: “It’s every male bipolar’s dream. To have your therapist fall in love with you. Of course she has to be good looking.” And [[Lena Olin]] fit the bill.

“There’s that stage, you go through,” A added, “when you fall in love with every female who is nice to you. The waitress fills your coffee cup and you’re in love!” My theory was that the therapist had to fall in love with Mr. Jones because it was [[Richard Gere]] playing the part and Richard Gere never loses the girl.

A different sort of love story is covered by The Science of Sleep, by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind director [[Michel Gondry]]. In both of the Gondry pieces I have seen I’ve been struck by the resonance his characters have with my own during my brightest depressions and darkest manias. He even named the protagonist of Eternal Sunshine “Joel”. Isn’t that reason enough for proud paranoia? Has this man written his scripts from my emotions?

I’m convinced Gondry is a closet bipolar, either taking his medication in secret or refusing it altogether so he can come up with ever more glorious hallucinogenic cinema for all of us to enjoy.

ssleep.jpg

List your favorite films about bipolars and other mentally ill people. Dibs on Blue Sky.

[tags]Film, Bipolar Disorder[/tags]

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Afternoon

Posted on March 20, 2007 in Poems

Silence trolled by soft serge paws into a whisper. Rain.

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Dream

Posted on March 19, 2007 in Dreams

square229I find myself in these odd spaces as I try to wake up. In the dream, I have returned to Duke University to work on a degree in Health Education. This is a theme of recent dreams. I don’t know how I got admitted: the letter announcing my acceptance arrived at my door one day and Lynn agreed to accompany me. We’ve moved into our rooms. I turn to go out the door. Except I doubt that this is the real thing (has anyone else had a dream where s/he believed that the dream was reality?) and start to make my way towards the door. It’s in front of me and opens to a long hall. I know that this isn’t where I am, so I try different doors in different room arrangements. I am struggling towards wakefulness and I am wrapped in several layers of gauze (like I wrap myself in blankets when I sleep), so I start stripping them off — especially from my face. The search for the True Door continues in this passion until I throw my head up and see the door to my bedroom, leading crossways into the hall.

[TAGS]Dreams[/tags]

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A Half-Way House Out of Horror

Posted on March 16, 2007 in Reflections

You cannot harm me
You cannot harm me
You cannot harm one who has dreamed a dream like mine.

Lakota War Chant

square228The last few months have been hard and I haven’t been able to speak forthrightly about who did what. Despite this, I have been able to distill a few lessons for future reference.

  • Don’t let someone’s admiration of you push you into ethical gray areas. When things get rough, they will turn on you and blame the whole thing on you. (See [[borderline personality]].)
  • Those who have no vision will identify everything you do as a symptom of mental illness.
  • Don’t trust those men who have been through mania without any history of abuse by others. They will have no clue when battles start to rage.
  • Don’t trust people who say that everyone is mentally ill. They are inclined to think that they are not responsible for their actions and not required to act civilly.
  • Use your lawyer. You have a right to her services.
  • Just because people hold positions of authority does not mean that they possess competent knowledge of human behavior. Apply the [[Peter Principle]].
  • Expect that most people will not help you when an organized effort to defame you is launched.
  • Expect that most people will want you to heal overnight even when this is not possible.
  • Expect that people will avoid you even if they feel that you have been wronged.
  • You can survive a pit.
  • Hold your ground when your place in a community of love is threatened.
  • Remember again that people have many faces. Those who are nasty to you may be loved by others. People are not round balls, their surface identical throughout the whole. Others do not see it like this and think you must be hallucinating even if the nastiness happened right in front of them.
  • Watch for men who have stopped drinking but have not left the bar room.
  • “I did my best” is a copout when the best spawns disaster. If you screwed up, you screwed up. Learn to do better when you screw up. Shun people who cannot make amends.
  • Talk about things when you are damned good ready to do so. Don’t let anyone — your spouse, your friends, your therapist, etc. — rush you into doing otherwise.
  • Like who you like, distrust who you must distrust. Don’t let others make these decisions for you.
  • They can harm people who dream. Vision needs that from time to time so that it stays grounded.

[tags]Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Disorder[/tags]

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Friday Anteater Blogging – Max

Posted on March 16, 2007 in Xenartha

What a stupid way to waste your fifteen minutes of fame.

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Insert a Trite Metaphor for a Corral #69

Posted on March 15, 2007 in Roundup

“We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late.”
[[Martin Luther King]]

square227The stories of the alternative press of today will be the stories of the mainstream media tomorrow provided they prove politically correct to do so and can be spun in such a way that the perpetuation of the war is not threatened. Here and there a scapegoat will be found, but do not expect any genuine change. The people of Iraq will continue to eat, sleep, and work in an atmosphere tainted with spent uranium.

With the war the single biggest outlay of funds from our taxpayer dollars, why do days pass when there is no news from the front? Don’t the lives of Iraqis matter?

Or the lives of the rest of us who will be paying for the war and the bungled Pentagon accounting system for the rest of our lives with money that should have been used for our retirement?

  • Medical Marijuana: Today’s decision which makes those who use it subject to prosecution fills me with mixed feelings. The woman who sued for her right to use it needs it: she has an inoperable brain tumor. On the other hand, its prescription has been loose. The grapevine is full of reports of people who have finagled a way to get a supply by finding a doctor who will prescribe it for anything ranging from bipolar disorder to sore knees. If the medical marijuana experiment is going to work, it must be handled like any other legal drug — approved and regulated by the FDA. The next step is Congress.
  • Choice Website: Defense in the National Interest
  • Choice Videos: Hang-glide over the surface of Mars
  • Choice Articles: The Truth in Chains and Is it a man’s, man’s, man’s world?
  • Privatisation Taken Too Far: A British scheme proposes that jails be set up in shopping malls. Talks are under way to open the first of these short-term holding cells in Selfridges department store on Oxford Street in London. The five purpose-built rooms would be smaller than normal cells and made of Perspex so that suspects are visible. The police will also gain sweeping extensions to their powers to take fingerprints and DNA samples from anyone they suspect of committing a crime. In addition, the proposals appear to lift the barriers that separate the police fingerprint and DNA databases from the new national identity register. I wonder if this will chase customers away or bring new ones to gawk at the accused? War criminals seem to be excepted.
  • In the Blood: Blood donors in Los Angeles are testing positive for a parasite called Chagas which is spread by what The Los Angeles Times calls a blood-sucking insect that looks like a striped cockroach. The most likely victims: people who have traveled or lived in rural parts of Latin America.
  • O.J.: The rights to that choice bit of violence pornography that he wrote will be auctioned off the steps of the Capitol building in Sacramento and the proceeds go to the family of his victim, Ronald Goldman.
  • The End of Vatican 2: The Vatican plans to punish Father Jon Sobrino, an advocate for El Salvador’s poor, on grounds that he has been teaching [[Liberation Theology]]. Few want to talk about how the move appears to be orchestrated at the behest of Opus Dei, a right wing cult within the Church which downplays the social gospel in favor of mind control.

If you find any articles worthy of mention in these roundups, send the URL to gazissax at best dot com. And feel free to comment!

[tags]News[/tags]

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Aimless Query

Posted on March 14, 2007 in Whimsies

If lions or tigers were raised by giants, would they display the demeanor of house cats?

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Missing Dragons of March

Posted on March 13, 2007 in Weather

The dragons of March never barrelled forth from their caves, failed to incinerate us.

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At the Beach

Posted on March 13, 2007 in Childhood

Last night, I remembered going to the beach and standing in the waves.

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Insert a Trite Metaphor for a Corral #68

Posted on March 12, 2007 in Roundup

square224I never liked Daylight Savings Time. Missing from the reports that celebrated the extra hour in the evening were the effects on human beings. No one ever asked if it was good for us to lose an hour of sleep.

Last year, the BBC ran a report on the costs of six a.m. becoming seven a.m.: Studies by the Sleep Research Laboratory at Loughborough University, have found that road traffic accidents increase slightly in the days after the clocks go forward. There is also an increase in accidents when clocks go back in the winter, which is thought to occur because people use the extra hour they gain to stay up later, making them more tired. The stock market also has a habit of falling when the clocks go forward, according to Investor Profit.com. The FTSE 100 has fallen 15 years out of the last 25, with an average loss of 0.77%. It says the likely reason for this is the spring clock change comes when the end of a trading quarter and the financial year is approaching, which has an effect on what is bought and sold. The stock market has risen in 17 of the last 25 years on the day after the clocks go back at the end of October.

Apparently though energy consumption decreases, the effect lasts for only a few days. Crime also drops — for a few days.

If [[Ben Franklin]] had known this, would he have suggested the idea? That we only think about energy consumption shows that our priorities have been messed up when it comes to changing our lives for the long, long season.

  • Windy Ridge Fire: It’s 80% contained as of this writing. And I haven’t even gotten the slightest whiff of it.
  • Stop Payment Order: Kevin Zeese says that resolutions are not enough. Democrats like [[Barbara Mikulski|Mikulski]] say they are opposed to the war but keep appropriating more money for the war. They need to realize that if they pay for it, it’s theirs.
  • Nude and Unnatural: Israel recalled its ambassador to El Salvador, Tzuriel Refael, after he was found drunk, naked, and gagged with a rubber ball in his mouth.
  • Choice Article: The Dark Side of TV
  • Chemicals: Teenagers don’t deserve the blame for their tantrums, says a new report. It’s their chemistry! When the brain senses a stressful situation, it reacts by switching on receptors, using a range of chemicals, including a steroid called THP. In an adult or even a younger individual, THP would reduce anxiety. But in experiments on adolescent mice, THP increased anxiety. Tell that to Linda Damm. Another study tells us that women who are aggressive can write it off to genetics. God save us from the cure.
  • Illusion of Unity: Has AHnold just become a Democrat?
  • You Can’t Have Yellow Cake — Or Eat It: Frank Cafaro was just going through old stores. “We were in the warehouse and we pulled out this box of rocks from an estate sale,” Cafaro said. “Everything was individually labeled. [[Amethyst]]. [[Topaz]]. [[Uranium]]. The guy I’m working with says, ‘What’s that last one? Uranium? I think that’s illegal.’ “…Labeled with radioactive markings, the container protected a vial that held about an ounce of yellowcake uranium, a processed mineral that, in larger quantities, could be used to make fuel for nuclear reactors or enriched for weapons. The article goes on to talk about Saddam Hussein — a tenuous link but something to make an editor happy, I suppose.
  • Bones of the Saints: A lot across the street from the World Trade Center site is the new focus for the search for bones from 9-11 attack victims. Since October, more than 400 bones have been unearthed from the debris of a service road that construction trucks used to get in and out of the site after the 2001 attacks. The city, which oversaw the original cleanup, is conducting a new search to find more remains of the 2,749 victims. About 40% of the victims have not had remains identified. Last week, two bones were recovered where St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church used to be and where new digging has begun, said an official who spoke on condition of anonymity. Debris from both towers collapsed onto the church and its parking lot. In the months after the attacks, some relics were returned to the St. Nicholas congregants. But the most precious one is still missing — a safe that contains church documents and a small enamel box containing three bone fragments less than a half-inch long. The bones are believed to be those of St. Nicholas, St. Sava and St. Katherine.
  • Dirty River: After years of pummelling Ontario and Quebec with acid rain, what moral leverage does the U.S. State Department have in challenging a British Columbia coal mine?
  • The Girls Are Lucky: The problem I have with a recent study that focuses on the academic performance of Palestinian girls and boys is that it asserts that success in school is “limiting opportunities”. I’d like to say that war and violence limit the choices for young men because all they have to turn to is war and violence. I don’t call that much in the way of a future, particularly when it involves a secretive life or a pack of explosives strapped to the chest.

If you find any articles worthy of mention in these roundups, send the URL to gazissax at best dot com. And feel free to comment!

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