30 Things about My Invisible Illness

Posted on September 13, 2010 in Bipolar Disorder Festivals Memes

This meme comes from Invisible Illnesses Week. As readers of this blog know, I have a few of them.

1. The illness I live with is: bipolar disorder and narrowing of the coronary artery, among others.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2005 after being diagnosed with depression in 1994; 2004 for the heart condition.
3. But I had symptoms since: childhood.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: giving up on my dreams of having a meaningful career and allowing my wife to support me.
5. Most people assume: that I can get by without medications or that because I have the illness, I can’t be counted on to talk intelligently.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: the depressions that last for the first couple of hours.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, but I don’t expect it to resemble real life. I like how House talks to the mentally ill.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my Droid.
9. The hardest part about nights are: the long lonely hours (which are the same problem I have with the days.)
10. Each day I take 23 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: am open to them, but not to the point of closing my mind about therapies that have been proven to work. I also don’t appreciate ones that include insinuations that I somehow bring my illness on myself.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Neither. Nor would I wish them on others.
13. Regarding working and career: I have been unemployed for so long that I have given up the idea of working. People have often told me that I have not lived up to my potential. Some say I should take a job, any job. Like they would. Nevertheless, I encourage those who are still young or with strong career backgrounds not to give up on themselves..
14. People would be surprised to know: I am shy. It is one thing to stand on a stage, it is another to have the energy to leave the house and interact with people for very long. People tire me out.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: That it is going to be like this all the way to the end.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: teaching adults to read and converse in English.
17. The commercials about my illness: make it sound like everyone can overcome their illness regardless of socioeconomic status. The fact is that most of us are not surrounded by loving family. Nor do we have wonderful doctors who know exactly what to do to help us excel. Most of us have to face stupid, mean people.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: writing poetry.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: nothing because I had already lost it all.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: photography. Actually I returned to it.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: make some new friends who didn’t have the illness.
22. My illness has taught me: the importance of listening to people and the scariness of dealing with people who don’t understand who just want to pigeonhole me, or who believe the media myths about organic brain dysfunctions.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: “Everyone has moods. You just have to take them as they come.”
24. But I love it when people: say they don’t understand, but accept that I must be hurting. Even more when they offer to be there for me (which is next to rare).
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: This, too, shall pass.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: You’re not alone in this.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: You don’t look any different from anyone else except maybe you smile less.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Coming to see me and calling me to see how I was. This happens so rarely that I don’t know what to do with it.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want people to know what it is like to live in this.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: cautious. I wonder if you got the point that you don’t know a lot or if you have decided you know everything. Will you do anything at all for me or another person who has one of these illnesses?