Posted on February 10, 2015 in Compassion Depression Ettiquette Stigma
When you are depressed, society forces you to lie. The American cult of Positive Thinking demands that we do not speak ever about our unhappy experiences or moods. If you live in Europe and someone asks you how you are, it is perfectly fine to say “Well, I didn’t get a good night’s sleep last night” or “I’m a bit down today”. Here in America, you are expected to say “Good” or “Everything’s all right.” If you stray even as far as saying “Fine” or “OK”, the alarm bells in the questioner’s head go off. This is not satisfactory. This suggests creeping negativism and negativism, the Positive Thinker believes, must be ever and always avoided and suppressed.
If you tell the truth, you find yourself saddled with guilt. Other people don’t want to hear about your bad day. They might mock you, call you a “downer”, or tell you to “cheer up and get with the program.” Your bad mood is a burden to others: they don’t like the suggestion that they have to spend a little time listening to you or that they might be a contributing cause. So you say that you are doing well. In summary, you feel guilt for having ruined their day when the reality is that they have ruined yours with their insensitive expectations of a life free from “negative people”.
Your feelings count. Avoid the Positive Thinkers because they are poison. Find people who are real. They have good ears and just hearts.