The Concept of Life

Posted on April 4, 2006 in Journals & Notebooks Reflections

Written last night. Some interesting ideas and images in here.

“At least I know the name of the beast and I know that it won’t curl around my atlas [vertebra] indefinitely — in a few days it will leave me. In the meantime it pushes its head against my bones, a nuisance that wants my attention — it will go, it will go….

“Lynn’s upstairs. She’s uninterested in substance or activity, food or book. I am down here, working under the yellow light and beige blanket, just rolling out the letters, vowels that tend to be round and consonants that jut up and down from the blue line. I’d love to be in the Congo, being stupid as only as stringer can be stupid — being too tall to hide and maybe a kidney for a militia member to wear tagged to his bandolier.

“This life under washboarded clouds can be too much weight — Bipolars and depressives obsess about Life. Could we have invented this concept which takes the simple fact of an ongoing and interesting chemical reaction and renders it as a Mystery? Because of our moods, our expanded use of our brain, there’s a kind of glow beyond the usual sense of the term, more than grasping on to a comic book rendering of Shakespeare’s tragedies. For us existence isn’t mere sequential art but words thrust into mosaic until they form a picture which is more than the individual shards and bits.

“I keep coming back to that deep meaning and yet I am not important….”