Posted on February 28, 2011 in Roundup
The last time I did one of these, I was cautiously celebrating the fact that Obama had won the Iowa Caucuses! The big news today was that the police union refused to oust the teachers’ union which busted the Wisconsin governor’s balls. I’m not calling us out of the tunnel just yet. Oh we are living in dire times now, but I have plenty of stuff to share that just might keep you engaged!
Posted on February 26, 2011 in Depression Humor? Science
My current reading consists of three books crammed into my Kindle — Styron’s [amazonify]0679736638::text::::The Confessions of Nat Turner[/amazonify], Metaxas’s [amazonify]1595551387::text::::Bonhoeffer[/amazonify], and a curious but apparently true work of physics by Brian Greene called [amazonify]0307265633::text::::The Hidden Reality: Parallel Universes and the Deep Laws of the Cosmos[/amazonify].
I have to admire anyone who wades through piles of scientific papers in an attempt to explain how parallel universes — or taken collectively, a multiverse — arise from taking theoretical physics to its logical extremes. I don’t pretend to understand the math, so I am taking Greene at his word.
The concept shoves me into a place of despair. In its crudest form, consider that there are parallel Milky Ways with parallel earths ((Anyone who has watched Star Trek knows the theme)). On many of these there is another Joel, perhaps pecking away at his computer like I am, except his history has been different. Due thanks to the Universe issues from my lips that this is not the somewhere he lives on the streets (having never met his wife) or is even dead. But there’s a depressing thought that emerges as I read this and I find myself cursing conditions here.
It is possible, you see, that a new universe comes into existence every minute or so. And from this fruition, come new realities. One of these realities has brought me to a better place than this where I am successful or at least secure in a world where the politics are sane. I make a difference in that world. So why, I ask, did I get stuck in this time stream? Why have I deteriorated alongside the rest of the country? Why don’t I get to travel in a better one and stay there?
The despair grows unbearable when I think: “What if this is the best universe?” Ah, then it is tragedy all the way down.
Fork the multiverse. It’s screwed me.
Posted on February 26, 2011 in Depression
Paranoia burns both as one of the brands of stigma and as a symptom experienced by sufferers of bipolar disorder.
Posted on February 23, 2011 in Bipolar Disorder Responsibility
I offer my illness as explanation not excuse.
Posted on February 23, 2011 in Anxiety PTSD Relationships Therapy
I am afflicted by what can be termed as a mobile doubt.
Posted on February 16, 2011 in Depression Thinking
Up to the podium they boldly walk and claim the Nobel Prize for themselves based on the same sort of reasoning that leads Creationists to dispute the Theory of Evolution. It amounts to “Science is not certain, so we have won the argument because we ~are~ certain.”
Posted on February 16, 2011 in Creatures
The best events catch me by surprise. There’s a section of the Harding Trail that tightens itself into a fold before springing back. When you come down the hill, the trail slides down into this bend, then climbs again on the switchback before rounding a corner and again starting for the base of the unnamed mountain. It was here that the birds cried out to each other and here that I heard them. A pair of fine, large ravens grasped each other by the feet and plummeted head down into the nameless gorge. Two others swooped overhead as the first pair separated before a catastrophic stop and joined them in a flight that took them to the north north-east. I hoped to see more of their mating, but they disappeared over the crest of a ridge. A lonely white-tailed kite hunted for songbirds along this promontory, but it evacuated the vicinity as the ravens whirled past it.
Then the other day — Monday — Drake and I found a solitary raven squatting at a backroads cul-de-sac we frequent. The stout bird squawked and stared across Harding Canyon. Drake was drawn to it. The raven permitted him to come within a few feet and then wheeled into the sky. The rest of our descent was accompanied by caws which registered that the bird sought a mate without success.
Posted on February 8, 2011 in Depression Reflections
I don’t like the drama as some do. But I so urgently need to talk about it.
Posted on February 3, 2011 in Abortion Strange Violence
How do I distinguish between the ones who just didn’t report the rape and the ones who were intimidated into sex from those who are abortion junkies?
Posted on February 2, 2011 in Bipolar Disorder Insurance
I’ve been locked out by my illness and by economic realities.