Rhinoceros at Retreat

Posted on April 12, 2004 in Myths & Mysticism Reflections

Fare lonely as rhinoceros
  –The Rhinoceros Sutra

Though I am a member of Palo Alto Friends, I have not gone to silent meeting for worship in a few years. (The last time was in 1999.) I think shyness plays a part but more importantly, I have worked out for myself the wisdom of The Rhinoceros Sutra. I meditate alone to enforce true silence. I prefer to be like the horn of the rhinoceros.

In Quaker Meeting for Worship, the people sit in a circle together, waiting for the Spirit to move them. I have found that the Spirit often comes to me, prompting me to speak on issues such as war and the struggle to be human. In other words, I find that I talk too much. No one has complained to me, but I feel a wronged emptiness that comes from not experiencing the Emptiness fully or completely enough. It is as if an outer layer of my inner spirit denies the importance of the Universe.

So what did I do on retreat while others sat in Worship Sharing Groups and spoke to the theme of Vocal Ministry? I remained in my room reading, writing, sitting in the true silence that only hermits can enjoy. When it came time for people to socialize and eat, I joined them. It wasn’t the people who drove me away from the Meeting but that person who sits inside me, who must declaim and perform, who must be loved for his wisdom.

I did not want to think of myself as a guru or a saint or a prophet. I just wanted to be a human being. As for having a place to speak, this blog suffices.