Does this prove I’m Psychic?

Posted on December 20, 2002 in Irony & Sarcasm

OK, the official pre-viewing spoilers on the second part of The Lord of the Rings is out here at Pax Nortona. For those who feel this is unduly mean, I’ve hidden the answers!

Here are my predictions:

• Gandalf is not dead. He’s coming back!
  
• Frodo is going to get stung by a giant spider thingie and end up a prisoner of the Orcs
  
• Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas are going to get to kill a lot of orcs
  
• Merry and Pippin are going to meet a living tree thing called TreeBeard who talks very slowly. Treebeard will lead the Ents to Saruman’s tower and lay siege to it.
  
• The Riders of Rohan are going to show.

When you find that all my predictions have come true, please keep me in mind for spiritual consultations. I also predicted the WTC collapse and the murder of the Nepalese Royal Family. I’ve also got deeds to the Golden Gate Bridge which you can buy. Get rich off $3 tolls!